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Failsturbation

The act of flogging one's penis in an ineffectual attempt to achieve arousal and/or climax. Typical attempts last 2-3 hours. Epic attempts can last several days.
Rich failsturbated so hard he irreparably damaged his dojj. What a failsturbation!?!?!

fapsturbation 

A theoretical act of self pleasure, often described as masturbation squared, or F=M^2. Can also describe intense masturbation, or simple everyday masturbation for hyperbolic effect. The word is simply a contraction of the slang term 'fap' and the word 'masturbation'.
"My parents just caught me fapsturbating to skinemax, no tv for a week."
"Man, that's harsh. They always say fapsturbation is a sin, but we know everyone does it."
fapsturbation by Bearded Justice November 9, 2011

fasturbation 

Doctors warned of excessive injuries this weekend of fasturbation
fasturbation by Dave Bose June 20, 2003

Fasturbation 

When a young man takes a break from jerking off. Fasting like a jewish person during Yom Kippur, a fasturbation may take a few days a week or to a more experienced fasturbator up to a month.
Guy 1: dude im sorry ive been so short tempered lately, i've just been in a fasturbation contest with my dad.

Guy 2: its ok man, i understand fasturbation can be one of the most difficult things ever.

Guy 1: it truly is...
Fasturbation by UncleNorton45 July 24, 2011

fasturbation 

the taking of a quick masturbation break, usually in a public bathroom
Dude, I was in the bathroom before third period, and I was totally exposed to the most vile fasturbation! I could hear this kid moaning through the stall wall!
fasturbation by vivezplus April 29, 2007

Fapsturbation 

Fap•stur•ba•tion
The combination of the words "Fap" and "Masturbation" brought together in glorious harmony.
"Golly-gee-whiz. The fapsturbation hit me hard this mornin'!"