An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman

A collection of jokes known mostly by residents of the United Kingdom which involve a man from England, Scotland and Ireland. The jokes are commonly long and end up with the Irishman being made a fool of or making the pun of the joke.

The jokes rarely involve Wales. Lucky Buggers.

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are all invited to a Christmas party. In order to get into the party, they must bring something relevant with Christmas. On the day, the Scotsman turns up with a Christmas tree, so he is allowed in. The Englishman turns up and brings a cracker, so he allowed in aswell. Eventually the Irishman turns up also, holding a pair of ladies underwear. The guard at the door asks him, "What have they got to do with Christmas?"

The Irishman replies, "They're Carols".

by Mcmacmucsons January 8, 2009

Dirty Englishman

One must either brew, or mix, his tea in the girl's vagina. This is the most primitive form of teabagging in its most literal form. Once the tea of choice has been properly made, enjoy the rewards and have a sip of the Dirty Englishman.

At tea time I gave me girl a dirty englishman, she mixed it up real well. Next time I'm going to need a Filthy Crumpet

by Grant Norris (GNJ) August 1, 2006

An Englishman in a Dress

A Scottish person.

"Scotland is not a real country, you are an Englishman in a dress!"

by HarpyBarpy August 3, 2020

The New York Englishman

The act of not washing your balls for a month, in order to built a tasty crust over your balls. Then your partner drinks hot water and you proceed to dip your balls inside their mouth in order to create a tasty tea.

Drink some hot water so I can make The New York Englishman with you.

by Moekindo July 9, 2023

Englishman Stick-up

When five Englishmen play cum on a bisquet, but the loser has to give the bisquet to his girlfreind.

Dude Brock lost the EnglishMan Stick-up and had to feed it to Alex.

by Mobsterking52 January 16, 2011

englishman

Someone who lives on an island in the North Sea governed by Scots.

Yesterday's British overlord is today's wretched Englishman, a slave to his own political apparatus.

by moxie2702 November 30, 2007

Englishnorant

Someone who is English and is ignorant. Often used in relation to an English persons inability to learn any language except English

Its not my fault I don't understand what foreinish you are speaking Manuel, I am Englishnorant.

by Don Stephano of Manchester August 9, 2016