Dadabetes 

A condition wherein a parent wants to be seen as “cool” by their child/ren and/or their child/ren’s friends, especially if their child/ren is/are teenaged, and they try way too hard and just come off as desperate. Additionally, any pathetic adult who wants to impress kids/teens, or any older person wanting to impress younger people and be thought of as “cool” has dadabetes. The current trend of Gen Xers trying to gain “cred” by listing all the (supposedly) hardcore things they went through is a perfect example of dadabetes in action

All these aging pretentious Gen Xers on Tik Tok saying they’re the toughest generation because they drank from the garden hose, is a desperate attempt for them to be seen as cool by Gens Z and Alpha; pure dadabetes

Dadabetes by Jeffersoncat July 29, 2024

Diet-inspired diabetes 

When the glamourous lifestyle you aspire to includes donuts, sugary drinks, and large portions, you are bound to develop "diet-inspired diabetes"

This is different from "diet controlled diabetes" (as this type suggests you make at least a feeble effort to control your diet.)

Diet-inspired diabetics are drawn to each other and often need to pool their resources in later life to pay for wheelchair ramps and prosthetic limbs.

One such club is known as the DOLAAT's ("Dying One Limb At A Time"). Such a popular club that there are chapters of DOLAATs in every nursing home across North America.

Man, those folks are in rough shape but they look so happy eating all those treats. I'm inspired to get diet-inspired diabetes too so I can join the DOLAAT club. I can't wait to wear a too-tight white T-shirt and have wheelchair races with them!

Diet-inspired diabetes by Mandi Harmony September 9, 2016

Type 1 Diabetes 

When your pancreas doesnt work at all, but it IS NOT your fault. Type 1 is when you are not a fat ass and eat yourself sick. Its when your body goes apeshit crazy and kills itself staring with your pancreas. funnnnnnn, eh?

"So you have diabetes? but youre not fat?"

"I have type 1 diabetes dumbass..."

Type 1 Diabetes by MadiMay August 23, 2011

Type 1 Diabetes 

The kind of diabetes you're stuck with for life and get out of sheer bad luck. Since only 10% of diabetics fall into this category, it is also known as the type of diabetes nobody knows or gives a shit about.

1)
Me (eating salad after workout): Well, yes but it's Type 1 Diabetes and I manage it quite well.

Jackass (eating Doritos and Mt. Dew): That sucks, you really should've made healthier choices.

Me: You're right. Next time I'll pick a better pancreas.

2)
Jackass: $50 Gazillion was spent on creating a way to solve the diabetes problem in our country, you should be happy!

Me: All of that money will be spent on trying to keep fat people out of McDonalds.

Type 1 Diabetes by osm0sis May 15, 2011

TYPE 1 diabetes 

A disease the fucking eats ass. It’s a cycle of blood tests, needles, low BG, disgusting hypo treatments, hospital appointments, emergency calls to Medtronic because their sensors are shit, high BG, going to conferences where ‘experts’ tell u crap you already know, pretending to actually care every time ur parents tell u to check ur active insulin, literally being told by teachers to turn ur pump down, always needing a bag with u to carry ur shit that keeps u alive, set changes, being asked wtf ur pump is, your kids having a 50% chance of having the same thing, scarred tissue, waking up in the night because ur being force fed orange juice, having to take ages to go through airport security, being asked ‘so what can’t you eat’, everyone presuming u have type two, having an even bigger risk of heart disease going blind or having a foot amputated, having a low immune system so getting colds all the goddamn time, barely remembering wat it’s lyk to be normal and living with this knowing there’s no way it will end because ur stuck like this the rest of your life.

I have TYPE 1 diabetes , type two is for fat or old people

TYPE 1 diabetes by Ligament October 22, 2017

Dababetes 

A condition commonly found in young adolescents, who suffer from the urge to frequently "dab".

Side effects can include severe head and neck pain and annoyance of peers

Symptoms appear similar to Tourette's syndrome, which may lead to a misdiagnosis

Christian, are you smelling your armpit or is your dababetes acting up?

Dababetes by Geronimo Jackson October 7, 2016

Sugar Diabetes 

The original definition for what we today call "Type Two Diabetes". We stopped using this definition because we are weak as fuck, and need a difficult, and unpronounceable medical definitions so we are can act willfully ignorant about a big problem that will eventually blow up in our faces. This term was lobbied to be abandoned by the candy industries, in the late 60s because they were becoming really big and powerful, and wanted lots of kids to buy their shit.

Guy 1: Yo don't eat too many candies, you will get Sugar Diabetes.
Guy 2: Ah you are over reacting too much.

Sugar Diabetes by ReturningTheTruthToTheWorld March 10, 2016