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Crysturbating 

Seeking comfort and solace through masturbating while being upset over something..
Having been denied sex by his wife for the 34th night in a row John was spending the evening crysturbating to Nancy Grace on tv
Crysturbating by Edo8! February 19, 2009

Crasturbating 

Crying whilst masturbating. Mostly over departed girlfriends.
Kevins crasturbating over Katie.

Crapsturbating 

The act of masturbating while taking a crap.
I ate mexican food, then watched some dirty movies and spent the whole day crapsturbating.
Crapsturbating by HardShralpingWy February 28, 2011

Chatsturbating 

When someone isn't very responsive on Instant Messenger because, evidently, they are masturbating.
"Matthew, why are you taking so long to reply to me?"

"I was chatsturbating..."
Chatsturbating by Regnisab September 15, 2009

carsturbation 

The act of pleasuring oneself in a vehicle, which said person may or may not be driving.

Most heinous perpertrator is dubiously referred to as the "I-95 Wacker", spotted by numerious WMMR listeners, and outed by Preston and Steve, after he harassed Cathy from the show.
Yuck, that guy in that Yellow Neon with tinted rear windows is at it again on 95.

Carsturbation should be a crime.
carsturbation by theLitFuse August 3, 2005

Crabsturbating 

A method of masturbation in which a man repeatedly pinches the tip of his penis with his thumb and forefinger. Can be done with one or both hands. Also known as crabbing, the crab grab, the fiddlers whistle, and Daniels Song
"Auughh... Ooughh... I'm crabsturbating, crabsturbaaaaaaaation"
Crabsturbating by The Dumper February 12, 2009