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captain douche

In a classroom or work setting captain douche would be the most egotistical and outgoing guy. He loudly shares his political opinions, life lessons and sexual exploits. He may be a loner or in a group of other douche friends but he far exceeds them with his obnoxious outgoing nature.
"THERE AREN'T ENOUGH CHICKS IN THIS CLASS!"
"I'M TO THE RIGHT OF LIMBAUGH"
"LIBERALS!? WORK! THAT'S A FIRST."

If you hear these types of phrases on a daily basis from this individual, you are dealing with a captain douche.
captain douche by slugbeast July 22, 2009
Urban Dictionary Merch

Captain Douche Bag! 

He is the founding last super hero of our time! He plays golf with freckled kids! He likes to Break Bread and go Water Fishing! His powers are dance to Techno music with hot chicks! He then Cleans his fridge with Fabric softner and yells at crocidiles because they have too much teeth and never see the dentist!
Little Boy: oh my god some buddy kill me!

Captain Douche Bag: how about no dumass! maybe you should be happy fuck face!

Little Boy: why captain douche bag no one likes me!

Captain Douche Bag: cause your a pussy!

Little Boy: im really sorry sir! i promise to stop wetting the bed!

Captain Douche Bag: good now go protect the planet from Beastiality Porn!!!

THEME SONG!

Captain Douche Bag is a fucking guy with a mask!
He'll eat the rest of the Steak Sauce!
Then he will cry you nothing cause you suck!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!

Captain Douche Bag is a fucking guy with a cape!
He'll do back flips on chicken tenders from Hot'n Now!
Then he will pee on your bed blaming it on you!!!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!

Kids: We love Captain Douche Bag!! YAY!!!!!!

Captain Douche Bag is a fucking hero with Attitude!!!
He'll race you to the Laundry Mat!! And wash his clothes!
Then he will burn the Kmart store down! cause it sucks!!!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!

Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!

Douche Captain 

One who so excels at being a douchebag, they have been appointed to a position of leadership among their douchebag crew.
"That guy doing the guido dance - total douche captain."
Douche Captain by giber1 December 15, 2008

Captain Douchebag 

An assclown that generally speaks as if they know what they are talking about however has no fucking clue. Different than just the plain assclown by their pure consistancy has earned a rank of captain, yet are not quite the level of an admiral, which requires a lifelong dedication to being a douchebag.

Can also be identified by their need to tell long winded retarded stories about their friends who are also douchebags of lower rank with lame nick-names consisting of the names "bone" and "dawg."
Shit lets go, here comes captain douchebag again.
Captain Douchebag by DrSmooth June 22, 2005

captain douchebag 

The biggest douchebag in the history of time. A person who exemplifies all that it means to be a douche.
Zach Pannenton is captain douchebag
those who don't even know his name simply know him as the captain.
captain douchebag by ShooToKill August 13, 2006

captain douchetastic 

A person who becomes severely agitated when they are called a douche/douchebag or any other form of the word douche.
Guy 1: Have you met Milo?
Guy 2: You mean captain douchetastic?
Guy 1: Yeah, that's him.

Captain DoucheBeard 

He is one of the few Admiral Douchebags, sailing the office halls, highschools, and other public places. Often confused with Captain Redbeard, but rather than being a ginger, he has jet black hair.

He is often seen wearing a pair of sunglasses a wifebeater. Nothing can stop his greasy hair and fake Italian/New Jersian accent, for he as always dreamed of being a cast member on the Jersey Shore

He spends his days pointing at his biceps, following women, making promises he can't keep, blasting his shitty music, revving his car at anyone who dares walk "his" streets, lifting 20-pound dumbells while drinking Martinis, tanning while it's cloudy out, insulting anyone who wears the wrong brand shoes, complaining about his cellphone service, emptying gallons of spray deodorant, and banging your girlfriend.
Tom: What a douche!
Brady: That's Captain DoucheBeard.
More from Urban Dictionary

God Shot 

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".
Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."
God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011
Word of the Day on September 18, 2026

city chicken 

A food native to Pittsburgh/Western Pennsylvania in which cubes of pork and/or veal are put on a short, wooden skewer, breaded, then baked and/or fried.

I've heard that city chicken originated during the Great Depression, when folks didn't have enough money to buy full cuts of meat, so they assembled meat scraps on a wooden skewer, creating a make-shift drumstick. Hence the name.
Are yinz havin' city chicken for dinner?
city chicken by TRF August 31, 2006
Word of the Day on September 17, 2026

Is that cake?

Another way to say is this fake? Like the show real or cake
“Slayyyter just announced another album last night”
“No way, is that cake?”
“Yeah whoops this isn’t real
Is that cake? by Sexyyred September 15, 2026
Word of the Day on September 16, 2026

just fokin missing her

native american reservation origin... to miss an ex so badly that everyone can see it.. can be used for either sex eg. just fokin missing her/him
friend : *noticably sad*
me : look at you all sad & shit
friend : shut up!
me : just fokin missing her huh?
Word of the Day on September 15, 2026

endwarfins

The rush of neurotransmitters and neuropeptides triggered specifically by watching the Seven Dwarfs march home singing "Heigh-Ho" — that particular high of pickaxes, whistling while you work, and communal domestic bliss in a cottage built for men half your height.
I only meant to watch the Heigh-Ho scene for the endwarfins, and then it was two hours later and I'd watched the whole movie.

Endwarfins aren't just a Snow White thing — I get the same hit off the Lollipop Guild in Oz.
endwarfins by Howard Ogden September 13, 2026
Word of the Day on September 14, 2026
A slang term used to describe a bald person, typically someone who is completely bald or has a closely shaved head. The term is derived from the infamous, hairless kids’ cartoon character of the same name.
Example 1:
“Did you see that caillou over there? His head is reflecting the sun like a disco ball.”
Example 2:
“I think Dave is finally accepting his hair loss. He just went full caillou and shaved the whole thing off.”
caillou by WMH01 September 12, 2026
Word of the Day on September 13, 2026
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