In a classroom or work setting captain douche would be the most egotistical and outgoing guy. He loudly shares his political opinions, life lessons and sexual exploits. He may be a loner or in a group of other douche friends but he far exceeds them with his obnoxious outgoing nature.
"THERE AREN'T ENOUGH CHICKS IN THIS CLASS!"
"I'M TO THE RIGHT OF LIMBAUGH"
"LIBERALS!? WORK! THAT'S A FIRST."
If you hear these types of phrases on a daily basis from this individual, you are dealing with a captain douche.
"I'M TO THE RIGHT OF LIMBAUGH"
"LIBERALS!? WORK! THAT'S A FIRST."
If you hear these types of phrases on a daily basis from this individual, you are dealing with a captain douche.
by slugbeast July 22, 2009
Get the captain douche mug.He is the founding last super hero of our time! He plays golf with freckled kids! He likes to Break Bread and go Water Fishing! His powers are dance to Techno music with hot chicks! He then Cleans his fridge with Fabric softner and yells at crocidiles because they have too much teeth and never see the dentist!
Little Boy: oh my god some buddy kill me!
Captain Douche Bag: how about no dumass! maybe you should be happy fuck face!
Little Boy: why captain douche bag no one likes me!
Captain Douche Bag: cause your a pussy!
Little Boy: im really sorry sir! i promise to stop wetting the bed!
Captain Douche Bag: good now go protect the planet from Beastiality Porn!!!
THEME SONG!
Captain Douche Bag is a fucking guy with a mask!
He'll eat the rest of the Steak Sauce!
Then he will cry you nothing cause you suck!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Captain Douche Bag is a fucking guy with a cape!
He'll do back flips on chicken tenders from Hot'n Now!
Then he will pee on your bed blaming it on you!!!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Kids: We love Captain Douche Bag!! YAY!!!!!!
Captain Douche Bag is a fucking hero with Attitude!!!
He'll race you to the Laundry Mat!! And wash his clothes!
Then he will burn the Kmart store down! cause it sucks!!!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Captain Douche Bag: how about no dumass! maybe you should be happy fuck face!
Little Boy: why captain douche bag no one likes me!
Captain Douche Bag: cause your a pussy!
Little Boy: im really sorry sir! i promise to stop wetting the bed!
Captain Douche Bag: good now go protect the planet from Beastiality Porn!!!
THEME SONG!
Captain Douche Bag is a fucking guy with a mask!
He'll eat the rest of the Steak Sauce!
Then he will cry you nothing cause you suck!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Captain Douche Bag is a fucking guy with a cape!
He'll do back flips on chicken tenders from Hot'n Now!
Then he will pee on your bed blaming it on you!!!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Kids: We love Captain Douche Bag!! YAY!!!!!!
Captain Douche Bag is a fucking hero with Attitude!!!
He'll race you to the Laundry Mat!! And wash his clothes!
Then he will burn the Kmart store down! cause it sucks!!!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
by james franks the 3rd October 31, 2005
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One who so excels at being a douchebag, they have been appointed to a position of leadership among their douchebag crew.
by giber1 December 15, 2008
Get the Douche Captain mug.An assclown that generally speaks as if they know what they are talking about however has no fucking clue. Different than just the plain assclown by their pure consistancy has earned a rank of captain, yet are not quite the level of an admiral, which requires a lifelong dedication to being a douchebag.
Can also be identified by their need to tell long winded retarded stories about their friends who are also douchebags of lower rank with lame nick-names consisting of the names "bone" and "dawg."
Can also be identified by their need to tell long winded retarded stories about their friends who are also douchebags of lower rank with lame nick-names consisting of the names "bone" and "dawg."
by DrSmooth June 22, 2005
Get the Captain Douchebag mug.The biggest douchebag in the history of time. A person who exemplifies all that it means to be a douche.
Zach Pannenton is captain douchebag
those who don't even know his name simply know him as the captain.
those who don't even know his name simply know him as the captain.
by ShooToKill August 13, 2006
Get the captain douchebag mug.A person who becomes severely agitated when they are called a douche/douchebag or any other form of the word douche.
by DavidCarradine February 10, 2008
Get the captain douchetastic mug.He is one of the few Admiral Douchebags, sailing the office halls, highschools, and other public places. Often confused with Captain Redbeard, but rather than being a ginger, he has jet black hair.
He is often seen wearing a pair of sunglasses a wifebeater. Nothing can stop his greasy hair and fake Italian/New Jersian accent, for he as always dreamed of being a cast member on the Jersey Shore
He spends his days pointing at his biceps, following women, making promises he can't keep, blasting his shitty music, revving his car at anyone who dares walk "his" streets, lifting 20-pound dumbells while drinking Martinis, tanning while it's cloudy out, insulting anyone who wears the wrong brand shoes, complaining about his cellphone service, emptying gallons of spray deodorant, and banging your girlfriend.
He is often seen wearing a pair of sunglasses a wifebeater. Nothing can stop his greasy hair and fake Italian/New Jersian accent, for he as always dreamed of being a cast member on the Jersey Shore
He spends his days pointing at his biceps, following women, making promises he can't keep, blasting his shitty music, revving his car at anyone who dares walk "his" streets, lifting 20-pound dumbells while drinking Martinis, tanning while it's cloudy out, insulting anyone who wears the wrong brand shoes, complaining about his cellphone service, emptying gallons of spray deodorant, and banging your girlfriend.
by iSpeakDaTruthz March 4, 2011
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