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Traffic Calming Measure
This is something that happens in supermarkets; a two-seater with a trolley is wandering slowly and aimlessly down the aisles with a queue of other customers behind them. They seem apathetic and prepared to tolerate the slow progress, none of them apparently capable of saying “Excuse me” or “Can I just get by” or even “Get out of the way you fat, useless lump of shit!”
See also red rover, Traffic Jam, Road Block.
See also red rover, Traffic Jam, Road Block.
I went to the supermarket to pick up some food but didn’t bother, the place was full of traffic calming measures.
Traffic Calming Measure by AKACroatalin August 13, 2016
Calm your tits
An expression uttered when an individual reacts in an inappropriately excited manner to a given situation.
Jim: "Oh, my God. Did you see that guy hit on my girlfriend? He gave her a drink and smiled at her. He's totally trying to hit on her. I'm going to fight him."
Dave: "Calm your tits, Jim. He's the bartender."
Dave: "Calm your tits, Jim. He's the bartender."
Calm your tits by bassdude726 May 30, 2014
CALM+
CALM+:- CALM+ Is an accurate description of a FABARM whilst he she or they are calming down the hysterical "NONFABMASSES" - it takes them a long time to FABLEARN the ultimate calmness of a friendly FABARM!
Calm your tits
A phrase we use when a fellow being is: stressed, anxious, freaking out, pissed off, raging, etc.
We can use other phrases such as "calm down", "take a chill pill", "I got chu", "take five", or "take a breather"; but "calm your tits" has the word tits in it and everybody loves tits. So therefore it is right and just to use "calm your tits" when somebody is about to rage.
However, "Calm your tits" is a PG 13 saying. If you are under the age of 13 please use the following:
- "soothe your boobs"
- "de-stress your breasts"
- "undo the calamity that is in your mammaries"
- "adjust your bust before it combusts"
We can use other phrases such as "calm down", "take a chill pill", "I got chu", "take five", or "take a breather"; but "calm your tits" has the word tits in it and everybody loves tits. So therefore it is right and just to use "calm your tits" when somebody is about to rage.
However, "Calm your tits" is a PG 13 saying. If you are under the age of 13 please use the following:
- "soothe your boobs"
- "de-stress your breasts"
- "undo the calamity that is in your mammaries"
- "adjust your bust before it combusts"
Example #1 (for people above the age of 13)
*couple on phone*
Girlfriend: you liked her fucking instagram photo and rated her a 10 blah blah blah blah unfaithful blah blah ratchet blah blah blah no luv u no mo blah blah heartbrok-
Boyfriend: Babe, calm your tits. I gots you.
Girlfriend: *le sigh*
Example #2 (for people under the age of 13)
Mom: Why is there so many f*cking dishes in the sink Jimmy?! Didnt I tell you to feed the dog?! Where the f*ck is the remote! Make me a coffee and do your chores Jimmy or you're grounded for a month!
Jimmy: Adjust your bust before it
combusts.
*end of discussion*
Example #3
Tyrone: *takes off with Quinelle's weave without consulting*
Quinelle: *screams* Ackrite Tyrone! Dont fucking play around!! Get your ass back here right now!!!
Tyrone: Geez, Quinelle. Calm your tits. I was just playing around b...
Thank you for your time
*couple on phone*
Girlfriend: you liked her fucking instagram photo and rated her a 10 blah blah blah blah unfaithful blah blah ratchet blah blah blah no luv u no mo blah blah heartbrok-
Boyfriend: Babe, calm your tits. I gots you.
Girlfriend: *le sigh*
Example #2 (for people under the age of 13)
Mom: Why is there so many f*cking dishes in the sink Jimmy?! Didnt I tell you to feed the dog?! Where the f*ck is the remote! Make me a coffee and do your chores Jimmy or you're grounded for a month!
Jimmy: Adjust your bust before it
combusts.
*end of discussion*
Example #3
Tyrone: *takes off with Quinelle's weave without consulting*
Quinelle: *screams* Ackrite Tyrone! Dont fucking play around!! Get your ass back here right now!!!
Tyrone: Geez, Quinelle. Calm your tits. I was just playing around b...
Thank you for your time
Calm your tits by Quinelle April 7, 2014
Calmly
Harry, did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire? Dumbledore asked calmly.
"HARREH DIDJA PUTYER NAME IN DAH GOBLET OF FIYAH???!!!!!" Dumbledore asked calmly.
"HARREH DIDJA PUTYER NAME IN DAH GOBLET OF FIYAH???!!!!!" Dumbledore asked calmly.
Calmly by KLANCE BECAUSE WHY NOT December 12, 2017
More from Urban Dictionary
Surf Dracula Syndrome
A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.
For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Surf Dracula Syndrome by AOmundson June 18, 2023
Word of the Day on October 24, 2026
Northstarring
Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.
Northstarring by Light Bearer October 22, 2026
Word of the Day on October 23, 2026
Plate of Brown
A plate of brown consists of foods that have little to no nutritional value, and are typically deep fried. A true plate of brown will also be accompanied by a dark soda.
Plate of Brown by Cheddar Craigson September 18, 2020
Word of the Day on October 22, 2026
Larpenomics
When finance content creators rent out fancy cars and flex cash to seem richer than they really are in order to promote and sell their “get rich quick” courses.
Larpenomics by Rbois09 October 21, 2026
Word of the Day on October 21, 2026
Palmela Handerson
Your hand that you masturbate with.
Girlfriend: What are you going to do for the next week while I'm on holiday?
Boyfriend: Have a visit from Palmela Handerson of course!
Boyfriend: Have a visit from Palmela Handerson of course!
Palmela Handerson by One eyed wombat June 13, 2018
Word of the Day on October 20, 2026