Burglared

When the Hamburglar sprays his ranch all over your McNuggets

The McMascot was giving me backshots for like 30 seconds before he burglared all over me.

Burglared by Glitterus March 10, 2022

Sperm Burglar 

A woman who tries to trap a man by getting herself knocked up.

Obvious giveaways: she decides to have the baby anyway. Even when he says he’s not into it. And then of course tries to lock him down.

Often the plan fails, which leads to repeat offenders. A single mom with a baby or very young kid who wants lots of wild sex is highly suspect. Many try it again with a new target.

“Oops, I forgot to take my pill!” is the favorite method. But sperm burglars also poke holes in condoms, steal jizz out of discarded condoms, or simply scoop the cum inside her after he comes in her mouth or on her chest. It only takes one sperm to do the job.

See also: daddy issues, Dependent Personality Disorder, stage 5 clingers.

John: Jane is perfect for me—she loves all the kinky shit I do to her—even cumming on her face!

Roger: Don’t fall for that man. You know Dave didn’t want to have a kid, right? But she’s a sperm burglar, and she got him. He escaped though, so now she’s desperate to hook some new schmuck to take care of her and her expensive little mini.

John: Damn! No wonder she seemed too good to be true.

Sperm Burglar by Big Dongky October 19, 2019

Burglarsonarceny

Burglarsonarceny is the crime of burglary, arson, and larceny committed in one act. First committed (and coined) by Bender Bending Rodriquez of Futurama fame.

Phil committed burglarsonarceny. Now he gets to go to jail.

Burglarsonarceny by Stargoat August 26, 2013

Cunt burglar

A guy who steals his women from either their husbands or boyfriends.

He is such a cunt burglar, hes sleeping with that dudes wife.

Cunt burglar by thepun October 7, 2010

Naked burglar 

One who burgles houses, or steals from other places, naked.

Sometimes done to avoid leaving evidence, but mainly just for the thrill of it.

Jack the naked burglar broke into the Smith's house, stole money and jewellery, had a wank and left.

Naked burglar by Witch of the West October 5, 2007

ass burglar 

1.) One who breaks into another's ass during the night.
2.) Penix

Someone broke into my home last night. My ass is pretty sore right now.

ass burglar by brandon + darren September 17, 2003

Reverse Burglar 

noun; the act of cumming in a girls eyes and stealing from her while she is blinded. Derived from the white band covering her eyes.

"Suzie had to go to the optometrist and best buy after she got the reverse burglar Saturday night"

Reverse Burglar by SirBurglesworth09 March 21, 2009