Getting your next relationship set up before dumping your current S/O. Generally involves cheating (at least emotionally) on your current partner with the intended future partner. Refers to playing on the monkeybars, where you don't let go of the first bar until you've grabbed on the second.

Bill: "Well, your brother just sent the Save The Dates for his third marriage - they haven't even finalized the divorce yet!"

Joe: "Yeah, the monkey branching SOB did the same for his second marriage as well - all his relationships 'overlap,' if ya know what I mean."

OR

Joe: "Sue and I decided to try an open relationship."

Bill: "I dunno, sounds like she's monkey branching to her *next* relationship."

Monkey Branching by Mai Ainsel March 25, 2022

Word of the Day on May 3, 2024

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Breaching

When your poop is so large that it breaks the surface tension of the water from below. (similar in concept to how a whale or a submarine “breaches” the water)

Dude, that was the biggest turd of my life! Look! It’s even breaching!

Breaching by The Brof3ssor November 8, 2020

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bringing the midpack to the function

To bring poor quality weed to the party/event.

“Typical Weasleys bringing the midpack to the function,” - Malfoy

bringing the midpack to the function by DefeaterOfMid June 30, 2022

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Money-Bitching

Inspired by the movie "Money Ball" - the establishment of a team or lineup in which the most attractive, kind, but also under-rated girls or women are merged in order to create a perfect squadron of bitches.

Guy 1: Dude I hate all our current bitches.
Guy 2: Goodness Gracious! Lets create our own Money-Bitching roster.
Guy 1: Thank the Lordus.

Money-Bitching by L. Sharf July 23, 2012

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sexspan

The number of years you are still sexually active

While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.

sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022

Word of the Day on October 28, 2026

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womp

A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.

You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.

womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011

Word of the Day on October 27, 2026