Bignelly
A man-like creature who usually comes from Dorset that loves Beer and Sex. Bignelly is loosely related to a Bonobo or Chimpanzee in terms of intelligence and sex-drive and cannot stop grunting and shouting "oh oh oh." He has 600 Bignells in China through his continuing semen donation services. Little known is the fact that he is the reason they installed the "One-China Policy." He also commonly parrots the phrases: "Shit the Bed", "Built like a Brick Shit House", "You're a Little Shit Faggot" (In a kind way), and "Hey Baby." His Beer belly is quite large and he plays with it often in public. He enjoys arts, especially Kamasutra with Donkeys and Goats and maintains a fervent Fish-Fetish. He hates the Scots with a passion but likes Mel Gibson for his political and religious views. He enjoys trelations with Chinese women due to his small sized penis and curiously large ballsack. His beard, Bald Spot and insane bursts of rage are characteristic features that may point to a possible Bignelly.
He is far rarer to find than either Bigfoot or a Yeti but is well acquainted with both as they are his cousins.
He is far rarer to find than either Bigfoot or a Yeti but is well acquainted with both as they are his cousins.
I found myself in the woods last week and suddely a wild Bignelly appeared. I heard him grunting and screaming "oh oh oh" as it began to charge. I remembered I had a can of beer in my bag. I threw in to the brush and ran away. I just survived a 'hard' Bignelly charging at me. I sighed for a moment and thanked beer lovers everywhere for saving my life.
Bignelly by A Wild Snorlax November 21, 2013
