Ashburn, VA is a town in Loudoun County located between Leesburg and
Sterling. The original town was built as a vacation spot for
people in Washington, D.C.
But, nobody cares about that...
Today, Ashburn is an upscale planned community with some odd quirks: Despite being built by several developers, every,
single, house has the same floorplan. Ashburn homes are rather large, exceeding 4,000 SqFt. Yards around these houses are smaller than the houses themselves and one can easily see into their neighbours' house as they are never more than six
feet apart. No place of business is open past midnight in Ashburn, excepting gas stations. This, coupled with the youth of Ashburn's propensity for soft
drugs, has caused many a drunk or
stoned youth to trek to 7-11 and mill inside for at least a half-hour. Every adult in Ashburn is obsessed with fitness and is compelled to bicycle in the middle of the road regardless of whether trails are paved on both sides.
Out-of-towner: - "I had the hardest
time finding your place, every house looks the same around here!"
Ashburn-er - "What do you mean?" "Our's has
brick on the front"
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Angry Neighbour: - "I think your son was peeping while I was changing!!!
Confused Mom: - "Our
windows almost touch, we can read your newspaper when your curtains aren't drawn; I'm sure it was an accident"
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Stoned Kid: - "Damn, I want a Crunchwrap Supreme!
Drunk Kid: - "Bummer
dude, Taco Bell closed at midnight.
Stoned Kid: - "What's open at
1:30?
Drunk Kid: - "IHOP, 7-11...that's it
Stoned Kid: - "Slurpeeeeeeee!!
1!"
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Biker: - "Yay!" "I'm biking in the street!!!"
Angry Man in M6: - "What are you doing?" "Go ride the W&OD like everyone else!!!"
