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A guy who likes to stroke to dwarfporn and he swallows
Hey did you see on the news a alfreð got out of a shemale prison
Words you can keep
Alfred is the name of a person who you cant just figure out. He may seem predictable at times but just when you think you understand him he makes a weird decisions so unpredictable as if he is 4 hits deep in a gravity bong. All Alfreds want love tho they seem like emotionless bastards. An Alfred is calm if not provoked but be aware, if you step on his toes he will cut off your balls and feed them to you and then slaughter you. Alfreds make good friends tho be aware to look where you step.
oh he is a Alfred

yah, i herd she is a bit of an Alfred
Alfred by Dat Ugandan Chungus January 20, 2019
Sweetest most charming guy you will ever meet, he comes up with reasons to talk to you and always has something to say. Can make you laugh within a second of talking. He is sweet, funny, nice, enthusiastic, lovable, hot, weird. You will fall in love with in a min of talking to him.
Alfred: "why are you so great? What did I do to deserve you? Kate I really love you with all my heart."

Kate: "I love you too"

Alfred: "My heart is saying Kate rn"
Alfred by Kat_72 March 11, 2017
A real patriot, and a person who is kind but has a terrible work ethic, often runs around shouting utter nonsense. His laugh is very VERY obnoxious. Likes to bug people about how great he is, especially if their names are Arthur. An Alfred tends to wear glasses and has blonde hair. Alfreds also are afraid of ghosts even though they claim they do not exist, but they easily believe in aliens.
Arthur: ALFRED! COULD YOU BE BLOODY QUIET FOR ONE MINUTE?

Alfred: But dude, I gotta be loud so that people can know where I am if they need me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BECAUSE I'M THE HERO!

Arthur: ...Git...
Alfred by theoneandonlycaptain October 16, 2011
Alfred is a good cook and a mean cleaning machine. He will put you in the ground with his crazy shotgun skills and mean karate. He is pretty cool and British. For some reason he also goes by obi-wan which sounds pretty dank to me.
Bruce: hey their is a creepy guy at the door I need an Alfred
Alfred by Obi-wan is life October 29, 2019
Sweet handsome guy and is really smart.
wow! he's an Alfred
Alfred by Mr. *OOF* April 16, 2019
A person whom after a shit load of drinks will say that if your parentes ever die, he will adopt you. Even if you are older than him
Alfred: You know what?

Not Batman yet: no, what?

Alfred: I will friggin' adopt you if your parentes ever die
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