plasturbation

To massage your own worldview by rejecting facts or other information that conflicts with it. To condemn the expression of opinions that differ from your own. To deny the validity of all worldviews other than your own. See plasturbate.

"He refuses to listen to what other people have to say; he just plasturbates."

"Don't bother talking to her unless you like hearing plasturbation."

by JohnnyReb87 February 12, 2009

ficsturbation

To masturbate while reading fanfiction.

"That fic induces ficsturbation!"

by Sunnan April 28, 2016

fensturbation

For certain sexual acts - such as coginus and fensturbation - there are no English equivalents. They should be used only in the original Latin, usually in whispers.

Wilma: What's your pet peeve, Bruce?
Bruce: I hate those Liberals who are always saying fensturbation is normal and natural - until you do it in front of them.

by dildo777 January 14, 2022

fasturbation

The act of not eating for atleast 24 hours, and then fapping as pay off.

"Gosh, I hate being a muslim, the only way to make fasting tolerable is by ye olde fasturbation motivation.

by titfacemcgee November 19, 2011

Fasturbation

The competitive sport of masturbation. The first to ejaculate 1 tablespoon of their own semen is the victor. Cheaters have been known to inject large amounts of foreign semen into their vans deferens. The sport is especially popular among high school douchebags.

"Hey Dad, who won the Fasturbation World Spoon last night?"
"Dick Cox, but Mike Hawk was a close second."

by Pinguino November 3, 2012

Flatubation

Masturbating to the smell of your own farts.

Flatubation is probably best in the morning when I have gas and morning wood.

by LefseLunatic September 13, 2019

blasturbation

Noun: An effect occurring after such extensive periods of masturbation. The effect will either be that of: lack of semen or "cum"; or no semen at all.

"Haha Dan can't cum."
"Dude, I just have blasturbation real bad!"
"Dan, no. You just can't cum."

by hank kaplan May 27, 2008