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John Laurens 

Though John Laurens may have been gay, he had many other great personality traits. John Laurens was an anti-slave abolitionist alive during the late 1700's. He was interested in nature (mostly plants, birds, and other creatures he often drew) (not just turtles.), medical studies (though he did not study it), and was an aide-de-camp alongside a more popular figure, Alexander Hamilton; the two are speculated to have been in an amorous relationship. John Laurens married Martha Manning out of pity after impregnating her after he broke up with a man named Francis Kinloch, who has was also speculated to have had an amorous relationship with.
John Laurens was a strong man who was not a cinnamon roll.

John Laurens was reckless and got shot multiple times, which eventually led to his death.

John Laurens did not like turtles all that much and ate turtle soup once.

John Laurens was actually really tall and independent and also pretty suicidal. Poor guy.
John Laurens by AKfreakin47 December 24, 2018
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John Frusciante 

Former guitar for the Red Hot Chili Peppers, only one of the select few who are truly all for the music.
"Have you read that book that John Frusciante wrote? I think it was called the bible or some-shit"
John Frusciante by Old Mate October 29, 2012

John Marston 

An outlaw who can't fucking swim.
John Marston learned he couldn't swim by the bad way.
John Marston by Mrnorrator November 16, 2020

John Stones 

Best defender of all time. GOAT
VVD: "How do I defend like John Stones does"
John Stones by John stones fan February 2, 2021

What the john? 

Devin Caherly's catchphrase. Usually used when surprised.
Announcer: The winner of the lottery is Devin Caherly!
Devin: WHAT THE JOHN?
What the john? by iCruncher May 25, 2022

John Entwistle 

Best bass guitarist ever, hands-down. Also a total badass.
John Entwistle was known as the Ox because of his large build and constitution, and Thunderfingers for his awesome bass skills.

John Birch Crazy 

The Political Act of spouting crazy Far Right wing Rhetoric and conspiracy theories on par with what the John Birch Society says.
Conspiracy theories about there being a War on Christmas, that Global Warming is Socialist Conspiracy to redistribute wealth, and that fluoride in the water is a communist plot are just a few examples.
Did you see that Tea Part spokesman go on about Global Warming being a Hoax to redistribute wealth? Yeah, he's John Birch Crazy.
John Birch Crazy by Libertatis October 2, 2013