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Don't count your chicken heads before they swallow 

This is my adaptation of the old saying "Don't count your chickens before they hatch". It essentially means the same thing which is not to depend/rely on something until you actually posses it, or it has come to fruition (although this has a more sexual and masaginistic twist to it).
Jeremy Conway, inventor of the jarvik artificial heart, is counting on buying a new car with money he'd potentially make from manufacturing DMT, a highly potent psychedelic tryptamine, in his home laboratory and illegally distributing it on the street to worthless junkies. His intentions are to use his new car to carry out a violent and fatal drive-by shooting on this kid mitch who punked him on some fake molly, a powerful version of the popular rave drug ecstasy. His lover/best friend, rat-tail, knows there is a high likelihood that a number of things could go wrong and that he might not actually make the money he intends on making and may even get popped or blow up his house during the process of refining the DMT. He says to his home girl rat-tail, "Yo biatch when I get me that sweet 97' Plymouth Prowler we're gonna go bust some caps in 'dem asses son". Rat-tail replies "Yo I know your penis is gargantuan and what not, but how do you know you are going to get that cheddar, to get that ride, to put down those trifling ass punk bitches? I mean all I'm saying Jeremy Conway, inventor of the jarvik artificial heart, Don't count your chicken heads before they swallow".
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no-count 

someone that is insignificant.

a person who chooses apathy.

a person who stands for nothing.

a couch potato.
That old geezer saw that car hit hit me but he will not be a witness. He's just another no-count.

My bro won't get off the couch. He's turned into a absolute no-count
no-count by jeff Martin April 4, 2006

Body count 

The amount of people at a scene or place. Can be used in different situations.
Cop 1~The suspect wiped them all out.
Cop 2~What's the body count?
Cop 1~Over half a dozen.
Body count by Miss Potato Head September 15, 2010

Low Sperm Count 

Gods way of saying he doesnt want you to reproduce.
Girl 1: So i found out my boyfriend has a low sperm count
Girl 2: That's because god doesn't want to have more of him running around
Low Sperm Count by Matieo August 9, 2009

gimp count 

1. (noun) a game in which one or more players count (out loud) how many gimps they see in a day.
2. (noun) the current or final tally of gimps counted during this game

The game is played thusly: upon seeing the first gimp of the day, the player or players point at the gimp in question and loudly say "One!". Then, when another gimp is sighted, the players again point, this time saying "Two!". The game continues like this until the end of that day, at which time the final tally is stated. The next day, a new count begins.
Dude, we went to the mall today and they were bringing in a busload of retards from the home. Our gimp count went through the roof!
gimp count by Sk8erboi Josh October 31, 2004

Full Count

Taking three dumps before 2:00 pm; three before two, or, 3-2.
Mark: Dude, I totally have the shits today. I've taken three dumps and it's only 1:30.

Dave: Nice man, you have a full count.
Full Count by RabbiDan August 27, 2009

chromosome count 

The amount of chromosomes present in a person's body. Down syndrome is commonly associated with a higher chromosome count (a third copy of chromosome 21).
Bro, go get a genome sequencing done. Your chromosome count is way too high, you're dumb as fuck.
chromosome count by abandonhope February 21, 2015