keep up with the joneses 

to strive beyond one's means to keep up socially and financially with others in one's social circle or neighborhood (from the name of a comic strip by Arthur R. Momand)

If I he can't afford a decent meal, he should not keep up with the Joneses.

keep up with the joneses by The Return of Light Joker November 16, 2009

Joeserver Effect 

Similar to the observer effect in physics, the very act of one person saying they will attend an event can cause all other people who were going to attend to change their minds. Has been known to ruin entire parties.

<Dave> Man, this party is going to be awesome, are you guys coming?
<Adrian> I'll be there
<Joe> I'm coming!
<Adrian> Actually wait, I just realised I had something on
<Dave> Damn, the Joeserver effect!

Joeserver Effect by PartyJardino May 18, 2009

The Joneses 

A faceless family thought to be socially and/or financially prosperous; poor folks try to emulate them.

"We livin' off mud pies and piss water, and you spend our life savings on a sable coat?" (20 MINUTES OF HO-SLAPPING COMMENCES). "Bitch, quit trying to keep up with the Joneses."

The Joneses by sexie chocolate October 14, 2004

Phil Jonesed 

someone is Phil Jonesed when a girl/guy makes them strip with the intention to have sex but then changes his/her mind and not have sex with them, resulting in them putting their clothes back on in failure and shame.

a reference to Manchester United player Phil Jones who took his shirt off in celebration before Sergio Aguero's late league winning goal during the 2011/2012 BPL season

john: did you get lucky with Sasha?

tom: no she came over, we made out then she stopped and left after i got naked

john: you got Phil Jonesed

Phil Jonesed by ThatDude1988 July 12, 2012

Jonesed 

Verb.

To perform poorly. To screw-up.

Dude...I f****n jonesed that mid-term.

Jonesed by JBG1234567 October 19, 2010

Mr Jonesed 

To be caught with child pornography, or to be caught having been involved in sexual acts with someone under theage of consent. Can also be used as a derogetary term to imply someone is a paedophile when in fact they aren't

"Did you hear that old man down the street was Mr Jonesed? knew something was up with him..."

Mr Jonesed by Uzumaki Mitch June 17, 2006

joneseyed 

the act of getting incredibly high on any drug known to man, the act of getting joneseyed is normally followed by one of the following; sexual encounters, black outs, gang fights, weird injuries, intoxicated phone calls, or death. this word is derived from the man known as c. jones, who partakes in these activities every day of his life.

"yo we gon' get joneseyed tonight"-50 cent
"hell yeah c jones is supplying"-lloyd banks

joneseyed by cjonesfan1 March 7, 2007