Definitions by george mcbob
total bunch
Since any description of a group, society or organisation that begins with "a total bunch of..." is never a good one, it is simpler to just call them a total bunch.
That frat is a total bunch of douchebags.
The government is a total bunch of thieving bastards.
My ISP is a total bunch of incompetent imbeciles.
Those guys are a total bunch.
The government is a total bunch of thieving bastards.
My ISP is a total bunch of incompetent imbeciles.
Those guys are a total bunch.
total bunch by George McBob May 25, 2009
McFreedom
McFreedom is the cheap, hollow imitation of liberation that America somehow feels entitled to push upon countries around the world.
The McFreedom process begins with threats and intimidation to the leader of the victim nation followed by increasingly random and impossible ultimatums. If they don't give in, the American military arrives with their tanks and bombs and starts demolishing the place, all the while handing out junk food and pamphlets to the civilians.
Soon, a new leader who's policy is by extreme coincidence exactly the same as the yank's is "elected by the free people". Within months, McDonalds chains have started to infest the countryside and foreign investors suddenly own all of the country's natural resources.
Anyone who doesn't wax lyrical about how much better things are now is labelled a terrorist and shot.
The McFreedom process begins with threats and intimidation to the leader of the victim nation followed by increasingly random and impossible ultimatums. If they don't give in, the American military arrives with their tanks and bombs and starts demolishing the place, all the while handing out junk food and pamphlets to the civilians.
Soon, a new leader who's policy is by extreme coincidence exactly the same as the yank's is "elected by the free people". Within months, McDonalds chains have started to infest the countryside and foreign investors suddenly own all of the country's natural resources.
Anyone who doesn't wax lyrical about how much better things are now is labelled a terrorist and shot.
McFreedom by George McBob May 25, 2009
Telkom
After the ANC, Telkom is South Africa's largest crime syndicate.
Their modus operandi is to force other companies into selling their products for them under duress, extort ungodly fees out of their customers, particularly on ADSL lines, with broadband prices 10 times or more than overseas, and up to 100 times more on leased lines.
They resort to thuggery and intimidation such as sending technicians to disconnect you for no reason, charging you for non-existent calls and unexplained tariffs and staffing their call centres with retarded unionised sociopaths.
Their main partners in crime are Eskom and Sasol.
Their modus operandi is to force other companies into selling their products for them under duress, extort ungodly fees out of their customers, particularly on ADSL lines, with broadband prices 10 times or more than overseas, and up to 100 times more on leased lines.
They resort to thuggery and intimidation such as sending technicians to disconnect you for no reason, charging you for non-existent calls and unexplained tariffs and staffing their call centres with retarded unionised sociopaths.
Their main partners in crime are Eskom and Sasol.
It's a proven fact that if you fly 1st class to Hong Kong, stay in a 5 star hotel, buy a laptop, download 100GB onto it and fly back, it will be both QUICKER and CHEAPER than if you stayed in SA and downloaded it on a Telkom line.
Telkom by George McBob May 21, 2009
server
A computer system with the main function of keeping you away from your own data or any information that is in any way remotely useful or entertaining.
It is presided over by a deranged creature with a god complex and no social skills known as a sysadmin.
It is presided over by a deranged creature with a god complex and no social skills known as a sysadmin.
server by George McBob May 21, 2009
Eskom
The worst electricity company in the entire world. Situated in South Africa. The only company in the world whose adverts request consumers to actually use LESS of their product.
They have just increased their tariffs by 34%! They cause continuous blackouts, and their biggest stroke of genius yet has been the "load shedding" system in which they switched off the power to some areas on purpose (and never kept to their own load shedding schedule anyway) and eventually led to one substation in Kempton Park blowing up because it was never designed to be switched on and off repeatedly.
They have no clue as to how their own infrastructure works, because they have fired all of their experienced white engineers to replace them with inexperienced affirmative action employees who would take years to learn how to do the job properly even if Eskom management could be bothered to train them.
Thanks to their bungling, the few power stations that do actually work properly can't be run at full capacity because the national grid is in such a shocking state of disrepair. Koeberg nuclear power station is never running more than tree of it's four reactors at any one time and almost all of their profit goes into Mercs, BMWs and 400% bonuses for their managers rather than new infrastructure.
They have just increased their tariffs by 34%! They cause continuous blackouts, and their biggest stroke of genius yet has been the "load shedding" system in which they switched off the power to some areas on purpose (and never kept to their own load shedding schedule anyway) and eventually led to one substation in Kempton Park blowing up because it was never designed to be switched on and off repeatedly.
They have no clue as to how their own infrastructure works, because they have fired all of their experienced white engineers to replace them with inexperienced affirmative action employees who would take years to learn how to do the job properly even if Eskom management could be bothered to train them.
Thanks to their bungling, the few power stations that do actually work properly can't be run at full capacity because the national grid is in such a shocking state of disrepair. Koeberg nuclear power station is never running more than tree of it's four reactors at any one time and almost all of their profit goes into Mercs, BMWs and 400% bonuses for their managers rather than new infrastructure.
A Metallica concert in Cape Town started an hour late because of a blackout. The crowd started chanting "Eskom! Eskom! Eskom!"
Eskom by George McBob May 21, 2009
zombicide
Zombicide is the art of... well, not killing, but destroying zombies.
Zombicide is an important life skill, because zombie infestations have become increasingly common in the last few decades, and all indications are that the zombie holocaust is coming soon, possibly within your lifetime. Since the disbanding of the Knights Templar, there is no dedicated zombicidal society to protect us, and an outbreak on the scale of the Carpathian outbreak of 1143 or the Abyssinian outbreak of 492 BC would become global.
In order to be prepared, we should all learn at least basic outdoor survival, sailing (since zombies can't swim or operate a boat) and horse riding skills (horses will be the only viable means of transport when civilisation collapses). Also, basic knowledge of zombie physiology is required, so one should learn about zombie strengths and weaknesses, unlife cycles, habitat and behaviour.
Essential supplies for successfully surviving the zombie apocalypse are: first aid kit, shotgun and at least 5000 rounds of ammo, a katana or machete, plenty of flammable liquids, body armour, especially a helmet to protect your braaaains, tinned, dried or other kinds of long-lasting high-protein food, and clean drinking water.
Commercial zombicide products are also available. The Zombivac vaccine contains enzymes and antibodies to protect against Solanum, Rage and 23 other common strains of the zombie virus. You should keep at least 5 years supply for your whole family in your first aid kit (NB: Zombivac only protects you from flesh bites. Having your braaaaains eaten will still result in infection.) Zom-b-Gone spray is effective in repelling zombies from your home, but will not stop them once they catch your scent. The Zombie Knife from Advanced Survival Tools is useful and portable, but not as good as destroying a zombie's braaaaaains as a katana or sledgehammer. Zombotox water purifying tablets will remove any infectious material from water supplies.
But the most important principle of zombicide is to always be prepared. They do exist, and one day they will come for you.
Zombicide is an important life skill, because zombie infestations have become increasingly common in the last few decades, and all indications are that the zombie holocaust is coming soon, possibly within your lifetime. Since the disbanding of the Knights Templar, there is no dedicated zombicidal society to protect us, and an outbreak on the scale of the Carpathian outbreak of 1143 or the Abyssinian outbreak of 492 BC would become global.
In order to be prepared, we should all learn at least basic outdoor survival, sailing (since zombies can't swim or operate a boat) and horse riding skills (horses will be the only viable means of transport when civilisation collapses). Also, basic knowledge of zombie physiology is required, so one should learn about zombie strengths and weaknesses, unlife cycles, habitat and behaviour.
Essential supplies for successfully surviving the zombie apocalypse are: first aid kit, shotgun and at least 5000 rounds of ammo, a katana or machete, plenty of flammable liquids, body armour, especially a helmet to protect your braaaains, tinned, dried or other kinds of long-lasting high-protein food, and clean drinking water.
Commercial zombicide products are also available. The Zombivac vaccine contains enzymes and antibodies to protect against Solanum, Rage and 23 other common strains of the zombie virus. You should keep at least 5 years supply for your whole family in your first aid kit (NB: Zombivac only protects you from flesh bites. Having your braaaaains eaten will still result in infection.) Zom-b-Gone spray is effective in repelling zombies from your home, but will not stop them once they catch your scent. The Zombie Knife from Advanced Survival Tools is useful and portable, but not as good as destroying a zombie's braaaaaains as a katana or sledgehammer. Zombotox water purifying tablets will remove any infectious material from water supplies.
But the most important principle of zombicide is to always be prepared. They do exist, and one day they will come for you.
zombicide by George McBob May 21, 2009
LaMinxette
LaMinxette by George McBob May 19, 2009