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Zombicide is the art of... well, not killing, but destroying zombies.

Zombicide is an important life skill, because zombie infestations have become increasingly common in the last few decades, and all indications are that the zombie holocaust is coming soon, possibly within your lifetime. Since the disbanding of the Knights Templar, there is no dedicated zombicidal society to protect us, and an outbreak on the scale of the Carpathian outbreak of 1143 or the Abyssinian outbreak of 492 BC would become global.

In order to be prepared, we should all learn at least basic outdoor survival, sailing (since zombies can't swim or operate a boat) and horse riding skills (horses will be the only viable means of transport when civilisation collapses). Also, basic knowledge of zombie physiology is required, so one should learn about zombie strengths and weaknesses, unlife cycles, habitat and behaviour.

Essential supplies for successfully surviving the zombie apocalypse are: first aid kit, shotgun and at least 5000 rounds of ammo, a katana or machete, plenty of flammable liquids, body armour, especially a helmet to protect your braaaains, tinned, dried or other kinds of long-lasting high-protein food, and clean drinking water.

Commercial zombicide products are also available. The Zombivac vaccine contains enzymes and antibodies to protect against Solanum, Rage and 23 other common strains of the zombie virus. You should keep at least 5 years supply for your whole family in your first aid kit (NB: Zombivac only protects you from flesh bites. Having your braaaaains eaten will still result in infection.) Zom-b-Gone spray is effective in repelling zombies from your home, but will not stop them once they catch your scent. The Zombie Knife from Advanced Survival Tools is useful and portable, but not as good as destroying a zombie's braaaaaains as a katana or sledgehammer. Zombotox water purifying tablets will remove any infectious material from water supplies.

But the most important principle of zombicide is to always be prepared. They do exist, and one day they will come for you.
Zombicide is one of, if not the most important life skills one can learn.
by George McBob May 21, 2009
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