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Definitions by Roth Vantage

Don Birnam 

The act of hiding alcoholic beverages (especially hard liquor) in surreptitious places (such as in toilet cisterns, etc.) in order to keep one's drinking secret from people. Taken from the character of the same name from the novel/movie "The Lost Weekend".
Carl's wife caught him doing a Don Birnam last night...
Don Birnam by Roth Vantage July 11, 2021
That was the car I was drivin' that day, y'know. Had a lotta cars. Yeah, different kinds... Lotta different kinds of cars...

She was standing, this girl, on the side of the street where there was this chicken stand, wasn't the Colonel, but it was a chicken stand nevertheless. And, uh, I pulled the Mercury right up alongside her and rolled down the window, you see, by electric power. And, uh, she had this leather skirt on. And, she had a lot of hair on her arms. I like that, I like that a lot, that means a big bush. I like a big bush, y'know.

So, she says, uh, "Are you dating?", y'know? I said, "Sure". So, she gets in and we pull off into this, uh, y'know, remote location, you know, that was comfortable for both she and I, and she says to me, "How much do you wanna spend?", and I said, "Whatever it takes to see that bush of yours, 'cause I know it's a big one", and she says to me, "Twenty five dollars". Hm. That's not chicken feed, y'know, to a... working man. So, I produce the $25, she sticks it down into her shoe, pulls up her skirt... and there, before me, lay this thin, crooked, uncircumcised penis. Pfff.
Mercury by Roth Vantage July 4, 2021

pederast 

A man who engages in sexual activity with a boy or youth; a man who is engaged in an erotic relationship with an adolescent boy; a practitioner of pederasty.
A: What's a pederast, Walter?
B: Shut the fuck up, Donny.
pederast by Roth Vantage December 31, 2020

oxygen sandwich 

Two pieces of bread strapped together. For when you're too poor for a Manwich.
Sometimes in the daytimes, I dream of a Manwich
But all I'm really eating is an oxygen sandwich
oxygen sandwich by Roth Vantage February 23, 2020

Ghetto porridge 

Saltine crackers crushed into ramen broth, then stirred together.
Leroy wasn't feeling full after his bowl of instant noodles, so he crushed some crackers into the soup to make himself some ghetto porridge.
Ghetto porridge by Roth Vantage November 11, 2018

money mack 

Canned mackerel used as currency in prison, since it's cheap and nobody wants to eat it.
Money mack:
"Hey buddy, I'll do your laundry for 5 macks."
money mack by Roth Vantage December 17, 2017

Johnny Carson 

Whiskey with an Alka-Seltzer in it.
I woke up hungover as hell and made myself a Johnny Carson.
Johnny Carson by Roth Vantage October 21, 2017