Definitions by QuacksO
row versus wade
The infamous and hotly-debated controversy over shallow-water navigational methods which pitted the skiff/dinghy dealers against the hip-boot manufacturers. On the one hand, it is indeed simpler and easier to paddle ("row") a punt around the shoreline as opposed to slogging heavily ("wading") through the mud, but the boat tends to scrape bottom whenever there's anyone sitting in it. This dilemma was further exacerbated back in the mid-20th century with the advent of the notoriously-unreliable Sears&Rowback outboard motor, which often necessitated both paddling AND squish-squooshing over pebbly jagged-seashell-flecked muck to return to the dock from whence you came.
The U.S. Supreme Court was obliged to delay judgement on the "row versus wade" debate pending further developments; they promised to rule on the case once humans gained control over tidal movements.
row versus wade by QuacksO August 9, 2018
spiritual debt-relief ploy
Refers to an utterly despicable "taking His name in vain" strategy, whereby you --- having previously either promised someone intimacy if he'd spend money on you, or used a similar promise to strip off and/or spread your legs as "collateral" in case you're unable to pay back a loan that you ask of him --- subsequently claim to have "gotten religion" and are therefore concerned that "He would not approve" of adultery/fornication, and thus you no longer feel that you should have to honor your promise of sexual favors.
The spiritual debt-relief ploy is one of the oldest and most pathetically disgraceful schemes for obligation-free mooching that the world has ever known, and has probably turned countless multitudes of disgruntled people off of established religion. About the only time that this strategy might be at all justified would be if you've gotten unwillingly dragged into obligation by an advantage-taking credophile during a moment of financial desperation, and are unable to pay him back despite your best efforts.
spiritual debt-relief ploy by QuacksO August 9, 2018
bulletin boarder
Someone who posts messages on a bulletin board so frequently/voluminously that it seems like he practically "lives" on the board.
I get so sick of all those notices that come from just a few "prolific posters" in the community, especially if they don't usually have anything very important/valid to say or advertise --- those folks are such shameless bulletin boarders! They don't help themselves or anyone else by putting up so many boring notices... all it does is clutter up the board and draw attention away from the legitimate messages elsewhere on the board.
bulletin boarder by QuacksO August 9, 2018
six-pack abs
Contrary to popular belief, this term does NOT always describe a desirable "tight as a drum" lower torso. It can also refer to the exact opposite bodily-condition, but for very different reasons, depending on the gender of the human under discussion:
(1) Weak flabby below-the-belt muscles on a man which result from his downing too many "six packs" --- i.e., cans of beer.
(2) Equally loose saggy folds that a woman may develop "down there" if she's either had a half-dozen children in rapid succession, or makes it a full-time job to care for a whole "flock" of pint-sized charmers.
(1) Weak flabby below-the-belt muscles on a man which result from his downing too many "six packs" --- i.e., cans of beer.
(2) Equally loose saggy folds that a woman may develop "down there" if she's either had a half-dozen children in rapid succession, or makes it a full-time job to care for a whole "flock" of pint-sized charmers.
I'm not arguing with Ol' Golden Voice regarding the overall message of the early-'80's movie he stars in --- Kenny is indeed 100% correct that "love will turn you around" in some cases, but a gal may suffer "six-pack abs" if she tries for too many little ones --- either giving birth to them herself or adopting a whole flock --- too soon.
six-pack abs by QuacksO August 9, 2018
spam/telemarketer defense
Refers to a person's using the well-known prevalence of widespread fake/mass-advertising correspondence as an excuse for his not obeying/acknowledging a 100%-legitimate-but-unwelcome message he has received, such as a hefty bill, restraining order, or other upsetting/disappointing directive that he does not wish to comply with ("Well, it made no sense to me, so I honestly believed it was just a fake message, and simply shrugged it off"). The effectiveness and/or defense-worthiness of said practice --- and your chances of being let off the hook as a result --- can sometimes be further bolstered by "pre-innocentizing" yourself (such as frequently showing up in court for no reason and claiming every time that you'd received an order to appear, and then finally --- after being irritably told for the umpteenth time by the court-clerk that they'd never sent you a summons --- declaring in a frustrated huff, "Fine... well, I guess somebody's been playing sick jokes on me, so from now on I'm just gonna simply IGNORE any and all such notices I receive!") sometime before committing whatever infractions would likely result in said unwelcome orders, so that you can appear justified in your non-compliance with what you supposedly thought was yet another fake order.
I successfully used the spam/telemarketer defense when asked why I hadn't answered a court-summons; I just said, "Oh, that notice was REAL? Oh my --- well, I'd honestly believed it was a fake message... since I've had so many pushy telemarketers and con-men harass me --- sometimes even falsely claiming to be tax-auditors or law-enforcement personnel --- that I'd long ago adopted an 'ignore any and all such notices as fake' policy."
spam/telemarketer defense by QuacksO August 9, 2018
reduced-fat milk
Refers to the various "levels" or "degrees" of "milk" (sexual intercourse) that are below the actual "full-fat" kind (hot 'n' heavy copulation with totally bare genitals). These include:
2% milk (where the girl manually/orally "releases the pressure" right beforehand, so that the eager stud will be "freshly emptied" and thus won't be able to cum again for at least a few minutes, and so the girl can safely let him insert his bare cock and thrust inside of her for a while without spurting),
1% milk (where the chick still allows the guy to enter her but insists on his using protection),
Fat-free milk (where the cutie just gives the guy a blowjob or handjob. "Fat-free" milk may often be what is administered by a sympathetic-hearted chick to a second guy often while she is simultaneously riding her boyfriend's cock as a "cheer-up/courtesy gesture" so that said male bystander won't feel so "left out"; the girl takes pity on the partner-less dude and uses her lips and/or hands to pleasure his cock and let him "vent his pent-up emotions", without actually "giving him any cream" allowing him access between her legs),
Powdered milk (where the gal lets the guy undress her and caress her all over with his hands and lips, and cuddles naked in bed with him, but does not "pleasure" him orally/manually or permit sexual intercourse of any kind), and
Curds and whey (where the gal lets the guy feel her up, but does not let him undress her).
2% milk (where the girl manually/orally "releases the pressure" right beforehand, so that the eager stud will be "freshly emptied" and thus won't be able to cum again for at least a few minutes, and so the girl can safely let him insert his bare cock and thrust inside of her for a while without spurting),
1% milk (where the chick still allows the guy to enter her but insists on his using protection),
Fat-free milk (where the cutie just gives the guy a blowjob or handjob. "Fat-free" milk may often be what is administered by a sympathetic-hearted chick to a second guy often while she is simultaneously riding her boyfriend's cock as a "cheer-up/courtesy gesture" so that said male bystander won't feel so "left out"; the girl takes pity on the partner-less dude and uses her lips and/or hands to pleasure his cock and let him "vent his pent-up emotions", without actually "giving him any cream" allowing him access between her legs),
Powdered milk (where the gal lets the guy undress her and caress her all over with his hands and lips, and cuddles naked in bed with him, but does not "pleasure" him orally/manually or permit sexual intercourse of any kind), and
Curds and whey (where the gal lets the guy feel her up, but does not let him undress her).
Horny guy: I love my new girlfriend --- nice personality, hot bod, great cook, and so on. I just wish she would let me truly "go all the way", but she only allows me reduced-fat milk --- makes me wear a rubber if I wanna "do it" between her legs!
reduced-fat milk by QuacksO August 9, 2018