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theory of relasstivity 

Theory that a perfect ass has three attributes:
1. Lower butt - The lowest part of the ass, should be firm but not hard.
2. Middle-earth - Middle of ass, should be softer than the lower butt and stick out more.
3. Heaven - Highest part of the ass. "As above down below". Should be similar to lower butt.
Damn Joe, that ass definitely follows the theory of relasstivity!
theory of relasstivity by Nyota June 29, 2014
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theory of relativity in arkansas

theory of relativity in arkansas is everybody is related

the song im my own grandpa was composed in arkansas

Jose Cuervo's Theory of Relativity 

Two events, simultaneous for one observer, may not be simultaneous for another observer if the observers are completely shitfaced.
Guy 1: "Fuck, man; I swear that night went down so differently in my head."
Guy 2: "Yeah, you were pretty much just dancing around while throwing up all over those girls and talking about how awesome you felt."
Guy 1: "Jose Cuervo's Theory of Relativity is a bitch."

Also see: Beer Goggles

Einstein's *very* Special Theory of Relativity 

An advanced sexual maneuver whereby your girlfriend deep-throats you far enough down that your pubes look a bit like an Albert Einstein mustache on her upper lip, and then she recites Albert Einstein quotes as best she can.
"God does mmph play mppphhh."

"Mmmmphhh equals mmmmmphhh C sqummmph"

-Probable utterances by a person performing Einstein's *very* special theory of relativity.

What is the purpose of Einstein's theory of relativity, Lobachewsky geometry and calculus? 

This is a very serious question and it must be answered carefuly and gradualy.
First, let's see what is the ourpose of Einstein's theory of relativity. Well, it helps an astrophysicist to calculate the trajectory of a galaxy, because at such a large speeds an distances relativistic effects are very important. Than he earns some mony for his calculations, which he uses to buy a car and a flat, so he can get laid. In essence, Einstein's theory's purpose is to get laid.

Geometry of Lobachewsky is about curved space. It is useful for another astrophysicist, to calculate effects of passege of a small black hole next to our solar system, and its effects on our space-time. He will get some mony for his calculations from the agency he works for, so that he can buy a car and a flat, and get laid. In essence, geometry of Lobachewsky is used just to get laid.

And finnaly, let's see what is the burpose of calculus. Well, calculus studies behaviour of systems during some period of time depending on various variables. An engineer employed in hydroelectric power plant uses it to calculet the production of electricity, which depends on the rate of flow of the water through turbines, ammount of water in accumulation etc. It is impossible without calculus. Of course, our engineer won't do this just like that. He will earn money from company he works for, so that he can buy a car and a flat, where he can get laid. In essence, the purpose of calculus is getting laid.

If you want to now more about other scientific disciplines and their purposes contact us at newscientist@harvard.ma.us. But, sincerely, we suppose that you already now the answers.
Student: "What is the purpose of einstein's theory of relativity, lobachewsky geometry and calculus?"
Proffessor: "To get laid!"

Boyfriend Theory of Relativity 

Boyfriend Theory of Relativity is a PUA term where the PUA once confronted with his Targets admission that she has a Boyfriend must determine through questioning in a friendly and non devaluing way to the Boyfriend the relativity of the Boyfriend in the targets relationship.

The idea is to determine if a healthy Boyfriend / Girlfriend relationship exists. The idea is to ask open ended questions allowing the target to give information concerning the relationship. The PUA can then determine if the relationship is in poor condition and that he can convey higher value thus attracting the interest of the target, or if the relationship is healthy and unassailable he should then move on to a new target.

It is natural for a woman to be reluctant to move out of one relationship unless there is hope of another relationship close at hand, and so this theory is designed to determine the health of a Boyfriend / Girlfriend relationship and work to displace the Boyfriend if the relationship is unhealthy.
Jennifer is hoot but said she has a boyfriend....I am going to use the Boyfriend Theory of Relativity on her to see if she is ready to move on out of that relationship.

Omar’s theory of relativity

When you’re having a good time and being lit, time goes by hella fast, but when you’re bored af, time feels like it’s dragging on forever
Omar: yo, it’s been 50 minutes since we’ve been on the phone
Jailine: no fucking way! I swear it’s only been like 20
Omar: It must be Omar’s theory of relativity

Jailine: why are you talking about yourself in third person?
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Slop Grenade

When someone uses AI to generate a large document, slide deck, or piece of code/software and tosses it over the fence for you to deal with.
Chad: Hey Brent I sent you the new backend API change to review, it’s only 100 files changed.

Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
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