The Merk 

The merk is a complex revenge move requiring near instant reaction time and perfect balance, To do the merk you need a chair (preferably the old grumy office chair), a buddy, and prayers. Step one: Balance on the chair using on foot. Step 2: start screaming. Step 3: start nutting across the room while the buddy spins the chair. Step 4: stick sticky notes all over the walls using your semen as glue.

FUCK YEA!!!! I HIT HER WITH THE MERK BRO!!!!

The Merk by Big Gooj May 12, 2023

Morning, when the frost is merk

The cold, frosty morning made my breath steam.

I had a morning, when the frost is merk.

Morning, when the frost is merk by aamujolloinmerk March 7, 2025

jerkin the merkin 

jacking off

why were u jerkin the merkin

jerkin the merkin by koo gui July 17, 2009

Gurkle the Merkle 

When you get a blow job from someone in the bathroom stall of a bar while they have your legs in the air while also eating your ass.

Has anyone seen Becky? Yeah. She took some dude back to Gurkle the Merkle.

Gurkle the Merkle by Jing101 February 9, 2023

pop the merkin 

Colloquial turn of phrase coined and popularized by comedic podcasting personality, Adam Carolla as an exclamation of demand for one to provide “proof of goods” in regards to a clean bill of sale for safe intercourse, synonymous with the phrase “pop the hood”. Historically, sex workers would shave their pubic region for health reasons and apply a faux pubic wig known as a merkin, to conceal visible symptoms of communicable diseases such as crabs or syphilis. As such, the term is slightly insulting as it insinuates the recipient is not trustworthy or above board to be free of sexually transmitted diseases.

“Pop the merkin baby, let me have a look under the hood! Im not saying you’re diseased, but I’m not saying you’re not diseased.”

pop the merkin by sammietwoton January 19, 2021

The Trump Merkin

When a shemale gathers up the hair clippings after Mr. Trump gets a haircut. She then uses the hair clippings to create a delightful merkin which can be worn to cover the genital area. Then, the shemale proceedes to lure an unsuspecting heterosexual male into her lair. During sexual arousal, the shemale's phallus protrudes through the hair of the trump merkin, as she exclaims with vigor and joy..."MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!"

I took girl home this weekend expecting to have sex with her, but she surprised me with the trump merkin and ruined the moment.

The Trump Merkin by Dr. Infant February 3, 2017

Jerkin' the gerkin with a merkin 

Of the male: Masturbating with a pubic wig on.

"Geeves, what on earth are you doing in Lord Boddington's room this late at night?"

"Sorry, ma'am, but I heard a commotion down the hall, so I scurried to investigate the matter. Twas but a false alarm, the young master was simply jerkin' the gerkin with a merkin"

From "Geeves, that the stupid thing off his genitals" by Forsworth Littlingshire

Jerkin' the gerkin with a merkin by thelordofroostahz June 14, 2011