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The Captain's Log

The MEAN deuce you took that didnt exactly slide out easily.
Man after eating that chinese grub I had to go drop the Captain's Log.
by Meat Sweater hehehehe October 11, 2006
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The Captain's Challenge

A meal consisting of a bowl of Captain Crunch cereal, but rather than with milk, with Captain Morgan Rum.
When Darren tried a bowl of The Captain's Challenge for the first time, he nearly lost his lunch. After a few shots of vodka, however, he ate the meal with gusto.
by Cgrave August 7, 2006
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The Captain's Chapstick

When a penis is covered in it's own cum, and a partner rubs the tip along their lips.
Dude, she was giving me head last night and finished with The Captain's Chapstick!
by Idkndhwusmmdndnsiiakendnhzuaub February 22, 2017
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The Captain’s Surprise

Sneaking three fingers in the asshole while wearing a captains hat and blowing an airhorn.
( verb)
The Captain’s Surprise: Sneaking three fingers in the asshole while wearing a captains hat and blowing an airhorn.

“He gave me the Captains surprise on our second date at the marina.”
by Jamsandwich1 May 31, 2023
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The Captain’s Special

After completing “The Captain’s Surprise” the giver will unplug from the receiver and then use the captains hat to catch any lose shit protruding from the asshole of the receiver. Then, the giver will place the shit filled hat on the receiver while blowing a foghorn.
The Captain’s Special (verb) Jonathan’s hair was caked with shit after receiving “The Captains Special” from Gary. The captains special was a shitty experience.
by Jamsandwich1 June 13, 2023
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The Captain Morgan Stance

While masturbating in a bathroom the person puts of of their legs up onto the toilet while ejaculating.
Guy 1:Dude i was ganking my junk in my bathroom and at the end i Captain Morgan Stanced that shit.

Guy 2: No fucking way! The Captain Morgan Stance!
by Conz313 June 12, 2009
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The Captain Jack Sparrow

Much like "The Houddini", during intercourse the male should spit on her back to create the impression of him being "finished", then when she turns round he spunks in her eye. From this, he should then kick her like as to ensure that she is covering one eye whilst simultaneously hopping and yelling "aaargh", much like a pirate.
She well got The Captain Jack Sparrow last night.
She cried
by Steve the Pirate 999 April 17, 2014
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