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Suicide Jerk 

A suicide jerk is when you call your parents and ask them to come to your room and you try to finish jerking off before they walk in.
Sorry I can’t come over tonight my parents grounded me because I failed a suicide jerk.

Alabama Suicide jerk 

When masturbating, right before blowing your load, call your sister/brother (nigga you gay?), cousin, nephew etc. and try and finish before they enter the room.
"Yo bro my sister ended up fucking me after I did the Alabama Suicide jerk, so much for a weekend of fun"

Double suicide jerk off 

When masturbating, scream “MUM!” “DAD!” And try to blow your load before they enter the room, if you don’t do it in time you have to actually hang yourself.
Police 1: “How’d he go?”
Police2: “He attempted a double suicide jerk off.... And failed”
Double suicide jerk off by EynonC December 22, 2019

National Suicide Jerk Day 

April 14th is National Suicide Jerk Day!

Have fun, Don't get caught!
Hey bro tomorrow is National Suicide Jerk day you participating?

Nah I got caught last year... they threatened to neuter me!

Suicide hotline jerk 

When calling into a suicide hotline, you jerk off as you tell the operator your story. As you get more emotional, you increase the speed of you jerking off. For those who are participating in this act, it kills two birds with one stone by relieving stress and having some sexual action.
As I told the operator my sob story, I came closer and closer to cumming, all while telling her about how I wanted to kill myself. The suicide hotline jerk has saved me many many times.

Stealthie 

when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.

This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.
FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"

FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"
Stealthie by gwenhyfar October 2, 2016
Word of the Day on May 25, 2026