slapsturbate

The act of high-fiving oneself.

Beth was alone when she found out the good news, so she decided to slapsturbate.

slapsturbate by zomby w00f November 17, 2010

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Sadsturbate

The term for masturbating while sad in order to take ones mind off of their personal troubles.

John Proctor's girlfriend broke up with him so he decided to sadsturbate in order to ease the sorrow.

Sadsturbate by Carl Grimes April 17, 2016

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Related Words

slapsturbate • snapsturbate • slapsturbation • snapsturbated • Sadsturbate • shasturbate • slasturbating • seamsturbate • skypsturbate • slapsterbating

Sadsturbate

Masturbation while in an intense period of remorse or sadness, lubrication naturally forming from tears raining down on one's frowny poundy

Sam was so upset when the Patriots lost to the Ravens that he sadsturbated for months in his room before he ran out of tears and boners.

Sadsturbate by TeamKeefe January 23, 2013

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sleepsturbate

The involuntary action of manually manipulating one's genitals during REM sleep. This phenomenon is responsible for some unverifiable portion -- scientific estimates point to 5-10% -- of nocturnal emissions. It is rarely discussed in polite conversation, but is assuredly real. When caught in the act by an incidental third party observer, the awoken offender is often characterized by denial and defensiveness. The following sample text is a rare exception.

Brett: <to roommate sleeping in common living area> Mike -- What are you doing?

Mike: <wakes suddenly and looks down at occupied hands> Dude ... I'm trying to sleepsturbate here.

Brett: What? Can you do that in your room?

Mike: I'll spell it out for you later, asshole.

sleepsturbate by von dildus August 6, 2010