slapsturbate 

The act of high-fiving oneself.

Beth was alone when she found out the good news, so she decided to slapsturbate.

slapsturbate by zomby w00f November 17, 2010

Sadsturbate 

The term for masturbating while sad in order to take ones mind off of their personal troubles.

John Proctor's girlfriend broke up with him so he decided to sadsturbate in order to ease the sorrow.

Sadsturbate by Carl Grimes April 17, 2016

Sadsturbate 

Masturbation while in an intense period of remorse or sadness, lubrication naturally forming from tears raining down on one's frowny poundy

Sam was so upset when the Patriots lost to the Ravens that he sadsturbated for months in his room before he ran out of tears and boners.

Sadsturbate by TeamKeefe January 23, 2013

sleepsturbate 

The involuntary action of manually manipulating one's genitals during REM sleep. This phenomenon is responsible for some unverifiable portion -- scientific estimates point to 5-10% -- of nocturnal emissions. It is rarely discussed in polite conversation, but is assuredly real. When caught in the act by an incidental third party observer, the awoken offender is often characterized by denial and defensiveness. The following sample text is a rare exception.

Brett: <to roommate sleeping in common living area> Mike -- What are you doing?

Mike: <wakes suddenly and looks down at occupied hands> Dude ... I'm trying to sleepsturbate here.

Brett: What? Can you do that in your room?

Mike: I'll spell it out for you later, asshole.

sleepsturbate by von dildus August 6, 2010

Sadsturbate 

When you masturbate to take your mind off something that's making you sad.

"Aw man...I'm so sad about my girl breaking up with me...I can't sleep..."
"Time to sadsturbate!"

Sadsturbate by bassmanmiles92 June 29, 2011

shasturbate 

The act of masturbating while defecating.

I was in such a rush this morning that I was forced to shasturbate,.

shasturbate by vink pink February 10, 2005

skypsturbate 

The act of masturbating over skype.

"I love to skypsturbate with my boyfriend."

skypsturbate by imagivr August 22, 2011