a safeword is a word (mainly used in BDSM - bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism) that bottoms use when the painful pleasure starts to genuinely hurt, or what tops use if they think they're being too harsh.
A safeword is generally a word that isn't something you would say during sex, for example, various fruits (like apple or orange); large numbers (like 73 or 460); different shapes (like a heptagon or a tetracontakaiheptagon); extinct animals (like a dinosaur or a
quagga); et cetera.
A safeword is never "
please stop," "I can't take it," or "it hurts," and this is because the masochist (or bottom) says these things to express that the sadist (or top) is doing a good job.
A safeword shouldn't be a simple word, because sometimes the word will be forgotten. A longer and more
complicated word can be said, and the other will notice that it's the safeword, even if it has not been established. If you haven't set a safeword and it's too much for you, then just think of a
random word, like a phobia, or an unnecessarily long name for a color, or anything. You can even just say "safeword" and that should be enough.
Safewords should always be discussed with your other partner(s) because it's a very important thing to talk about. You can even bring it up during
intercourse because it's a normal thing to ask "what's the safeword again?" and it will be fine. if you feel shy about asking, then don't be. you should be
comfortable with your partner.
sub: Hey, what's the safeword again?
dom:
I don't know, what about ballpoint pen?
sub: i'll try to remember that, i guess
---
fiveteen min later
---
sub: (forgets the safeword) ...safeword!!
dom: did you forget the safeword?
sub: yeah, i did, sorry
dom:
it's okay :)
sub: :)
and they lived
happily ever after :D
