The Queens Ubiquitous Ever-Lasting Patrol (QUELP) was founded in 1365 by Lord Henry Thistletwat of Bristol. It continues to this day to serve the reigning Queen with pride and integrity. The Patrol consists of 50 men, 4 Knights of the Realm in charge of
operations - which currently consist of
drinking tea, discussing Edwardian politics and shouting at the Swiss Guard stationed outside of QUELP HQ - a wooden log cabin occupying 74 acres in East Manchester, just a stonesthrow from
Buckingham Palace.
The word 'quelp' has become synonymous with a proper and decent gentleman, to which all other men aspire.
By George, he sure is a quelp.
The other day he saved my
daughter from
addiction and wrenched my family out of poverty.
Why if I were only a quelp instead o'a dirty prole, I wouldnae haf to werk in mi pa's sex shoppe.