The Queens Ubiquitous Ever-Lasting Patrol (QUELP) was founded in 1365 by Lord
Henry Thistletwat of Bristol. It continues to this day to serve the reigning Queen with pride and integrity. The Patrol consists of 50 men,
4 Knights of the Realm in charge of operations - which currently consist of drinking tea, discussing Edwardian
politics and shouting at the Swiss Guard stationed outside of QUELP
HQ - a wooden log cabin occupying 74 acres in East Manchester, just a stonesthrow from Buckingham Palace.
The
word 'quelp' has become synonymous with a proper and decent gentleman, to which all other men aspire.
By
George, he sure is a quelp. The other day he saved my
daughter from
addiction and wrenched my family out of poverty.
Why if I were only a quelp instead o'a dirty prole, I wouldnae haf to werk in mi pa's sex shoppe.