pickle gherkins 

is Sherlock Holmes's cowardly sidekick brother. He puffs up like a toad when danger approaches often heard spouting inflated catch-phrases like 'by jove' or 'say'. He works for scotland yard, so he's passively instrumental to the plot, though his narrative is often flat, droning, and for the most part, easily overlooked and almost instantly forgotten and met with such response as timing one's breath to make sure one is still alive. Fortunately he's a ginger, so he manages to give of some air of spunk, however, that false impression is corrected upon getting familiar with him and his mannarisms. He lives vicariously and in actuality off of Shelock's genious and never feels the lesser for it. All in all an excellent side character to illuminate the others.

*car backfires*
Pickle Gherkins: *sputters and puffs up* By jove, old chap, I best be getting along back to scotland yard, say, to work on the documents, you know those fiddley details, yes, say, good then, I wish you luck.

pickle gherkins by p@$$ing thr.ugh January 28, 2010

Polish a pickled gherkin 

Verb

To masturbate. Refers exclusively to males.

He was going to polish a pickled gherkin for hours after he finished playing Bayonetta.

Polish a pickled gherkin by IQuarent July 29, 2017

whatever pickles your gherkin

whatever you want!

also:
Whatever Humps Your Camel
Whatever Floats Your Boat

me: What do you feel like doing today?
friend: Anything man, whatever pickles your gherkin.

whatever pickles your gherkin by word_g33k August 3, 2007