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Newsflash: Getting shot hurts!
Newsflash by Bas May 26, 2005

newsflash: i don't care 

A moderately unkind smart-ass thing to say to someone who says something that doesn't matter. Most people who say this are either in a bad mood, not a nice person altogether, or don't like the person they're talking to. It's not very clever, but alot of people thing it is.
Bill: Hey my cat threw up today.
Joe: Newsflash: I don't care!

newseless 

the unvaluable, unfunctional or generally USELESS nature of a person, object or action that is NEW
Our company just hired this overpriced executive and he's fucking newseless.

I bought these scissors yesterday and they don't cut shit.....newseless.
newseless by Rocky Dennis March 3, 2010

Newsplaining 

Explanations provided by the Mainstream Media that fits into their agenda setting narrative.
High school kid in a MAGA hat smirks at a hostile Native American man who approached him and beat a drum in his face. The mainstream media uses newsplaining to tell Americans how racist the kid is.
Newsplaining by Bubb Rubb 21 February 6, 2019
Everybody is a follower! So how can you people claim to be right or correct?
Here’s a newsflash for you stupid shits