mistortion 

Typically used to describe something epic, haunting & hardcore. Mistortion can be referred similar to that of dark matter due to its unknown, empowering energy and overwhelming presence.

Mistortion coming at you like a backyard abortion

mistortion by hakkattack October 27, 2017

Vagina Distortion Field 

Like the notorious reality distortion field (RDF) of Steve Jobs, a Vagina Distortion Field (VDF) affects perception, which thereby alters behavior. When someone is affected by a woman's VDF, every aspect of her being seemingly improves in that person's view. A woman's VDF typically only influences those who have not yet had access to said vagina. Being warped by a VDF is different than being pussy whipped. With the latter, the whipped individual behaves abnormally to maintain access to the pussy, but perception of the vagina owner is not altered. The VDF often has the greatest affect on the owner of the vagina, making her vastly overestimate her worth, influence, and potential.

Spock: "Captain, you are once again risking the lives of the entire crew in the pursuit of some green slag."

Kirk: "Mr. Spock, your libido-less Vulcan logic fails to grasp the enormity of the daily Pon Farr that starship command subjects on a man."

Spock: "Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov, move the Enterprise as far as is necessary and raise whatever shield is needed to protect the captain's mind from the insidious Vagina Distortion Field that is destroying his judgement."

Kirk: "Spawwwwwwwwwk!!!"

<cue Kirk fight music>

Vagina Distortion Field by Bachelor boB January 17, 2012

distortionist 

A less biting, somewhat elegant and mystical sounding term used to describe a practiced liar.

At one time, before his traitorous cognitive decline, the Hitman in Chief was a most prolific and talented distortionist.

distortionist by Dr Bunnygirl September 27, 2019

Perspectorial distortion 

When a girl looks good from a distance but as the girl gets closer you realize that your previous notion was false. (Also know as P.D.)

When you see that girl from a distance and is like damn shes hot, but when she gets close you notice 5 warts on her face and an abnormally lopsided set of breast. You say "damn that was some major P.D.(Perspectorial distortion )".

Perspectorial distortion by Goldenshot1000 November 8, 2015

Social Distortion 

One of the few surviving punk bands out of OC in California. Came out in 1978 with Mike Ness, Casey Royer, Rikk and Frank Agnew. Through many changes in the lineup SD pushed the spirit of true punk through rough times.

Mainly sing about problems of bad luck, run down, drug abused life, seeing as thats how it was for Ness. Best Songs were mommys little monster, Ball and chain, story of my life, Dont drag me down and few others. They have refused to change their style of music, thus making them one of the best punk bands ever.

The line up now is Ness, Charlie Quintana, Jonny "2 Bags" Wickersham, and Matt Freeman of Rancid.
RIP Dennis Danell.

Social distortion is a punk band true to its roots!

Social Distortion by The Real Wolf December 28, 2005

wall of distortion

The entirety of distorted facts and figures involving the “need for a border wall” coupled with the egregious manipulative use of a Federal shutdown presented by the Racist in Chief during the first formal televised speech of his administration.

The wall of distortion is that any of this is a national crisis and it’s sole purpose is to detract from his long-term and undeniable collusion with Vladimir Putin.

wall of distortion by Dr Bunnygirl January 8, 2019

social distortion 

traped in the pit falls of sin since 1979!

social distortion is the best band ever and always will be!!

social distortion by Anonymous March 17, 2003