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Subconjunctival Hemorrhage 

Subconjunctival hemorrhage is a broken blood vessel in the eye caused by a lack of the following: vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, cunnilingus, anilingus, kissing, flirting, fondling, hugging, and a lack of loving text messages from someone special.

The condition is self-resolving with an adequate amount of TLC from the appropriate person. Preferable done away from life, for a minimum of two nights...just you and me...secluded from the world.
Betty: Dude, my eye... I've got a bad case of subconjunctival hemorrhage thanks to you.
Bobby: Get your naked ass over to my house and I'll make it better.

Anal hemorrhage

This is the bleeding or hemorrhage(another word for bleeding) from the anus or anal cavity.
Mrs. cherry had an operation a couple days ago to stop her anal hemorrhage.

Kommel-Hemorrhage 

Taking a shit so hard that you burst a blood vessel in your eye.
Dude after I ate that whole pizza with extra cheese I didn't shit for days and when I did I got Kommel-hemorrhage

pen hemorrhage 

when your pen bursts or leaks ink and makes a huge mess inside your back pack or pocket.
ally: **reaches inside bookbag** "oh crap what a mess!"

kendra: "whoa! what is that?"

ally: "pen hemorrhage."

kendra: "ah..."
pen hemorrhage by spunkychick December 5, 2011

shit hemorrhage 

A fit of usually justified rage or frustration, profound and theatrical enough to be comparable in magnitude and splendor to a catclysmic outburst of feces and blood.
If you don't get that report in on time, you know darn well he'll have a shit hemorrhage. Boy, did she ever have a shit hemorrhage when I pranged her car.
shit hemorrhage by wordcollector September 28, 2010

8-ball hemorrhages

The appearance of the eye(s) following a beating that resembles the black (8-ball) in pool.
John had been beaten and had 8-ball hemorrhages from the head wound.