jonkylitus 

This is a critical health condition in which one has a panic inducing phobia towards stretched necks, all they can think about is the throat being extended and it causes them to uncontrollably punch every rubber duck in sight while singing the song ‘Life is a Highway’ in reverse.

‘damn, jimmy saw my neck when i stretched and immediately punched all my rubber ducks while singing backwards. he must have jonkylitus.’

jonkylitus by onoboi101 June 19, 2022

jonnyitus 

To take on the appearance of a rubber jonny, after a particular bad event has taken place. e.g. physical exercise, night out
Large people tend towards this description more than the slight, due to having more areas of the body that can go flacid and limp
Condition lasts an indeterminate amount of time, depending on extent of bad event.

Sometimes used to refer to someone who is useless.

'you really have caught jonnyitus after that late night out. you won't be able to do anything for the rest of the day.'

'he has a serious case of jonnyitus'

jonnyitus by Oxford chapter for prevention of lies November 12, 2008