jackmeoff 

masterbation of male

word used to fool cop

jackmeoff by Patrick November 25, 2004

jackoff buddy

A friend who helps you with mutual masturbation, usually male-on-male.

A jackoff buddy promises a more limited repertoire than a fuck buddy.

jackoff buddy by al-in-chgo August 4, 2012

Regular jackoff 

Also spelled "Regular jack-off", the term is used in the Adult Swim show Metalocalypse to describe anyone that is not in Dethklok. Mostly applied to fans of the band.

Toki: What's this place called?

Skwisgaar: This is, I believes, called food libraries.

(The two practice saying "Food libraries")

Pickles: It's called a grocery store, ya douchebags! I'm sorry about douchebags. I got... got low blood sugar.

Nathan: Alright, here's the deal: we have to do our own shopping so we can make our own dinner like regular jackoffs do. Now you're all in charge of putting together one dish. And don't just buy booze! That ain't food!

Murderface: What do you mean, "booze ain't food?" I'd rather chop off my ding-dong than admit that!

Toki: You'd rather chop off your ding-dong than not drink?

Murderface: Yeah!

Toki: Wowee!

Regular jackoff by KMFDMDFMK December 24, 2009

hacking the jackoff 

The subtle seduction and concurrent infiltration of the mind of an unscrupulous jerk, to gather the necessary intel to shut him down.

Hacking the jackoff shouldn't be too hard, his mind is shockingly simple, driven entirely by ego gratification and compensation.

hacking the jackoff by Dr Bunnygirl August 10, 2017

Jackoff of all trades 

Somebody who believes that they can multitask, but in attempting many different endeavors, fails at all or most of them. A failed polymath. An incompetent, wannabe rennaissance man.

"Dude thinks he's the jack of all trades. He screwed up the math on the cash register, he can't speak spanish for shit, and after he tried to tune up my car, I had to take it in and spend $200 bucks before it would start again. He's the jackoff of all trades."

Jackoff of all trades by Hank the Monster October 18, 2009

Are you a jackoff? 

A useful, go-to question for the ages, used in situations when someone’s behavior verges on intolerable.

In my opinion my husband over-utilizes the question, “Are you a jackoff?” when I am attempting to regale him with my UD compositions.

Are you a jackoff? by Dr Bunnygirl July 2, 2020

Jackoff City 

An expression alluding to a figurative city to indicate that a place or situation is essentially not serious on some level, in fact that it is probably entirely full of shit or populated by clueless jackoffs.

Man, this whole business is Jackoff City, there’s no way anyone who works here knows what the fuck is what!

Jackoff City by Dr Bunnygirl May 5, 2021