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Hoesturbate 

Hoesturbate: When a hoe appears to be masturbating.
Holy Shit! Look at that girl hoesturbate!
Hoesturbate by Gummy Kitten September 1, 2021

Hugsterbate 

the act of hugging oneself out of loneliness or lack or a proper hug.
Ben- I really need a hug
Talia-Well I can't hug you, so just hugsterbate.
Hugsterbate by tdollafromtheg December 31, 2011

hesturbate 

twiddle the bean or jack in an unusual manner, with thoughts of doing something particularly dirty that is not always associated with sex. Masturbation that is a mixture of very perverted and very funny. Often punctuated by Ha! This word has become popular on porn boards, and is derived from Hester, wearer of the scarlet letter.
"I imagined you shoving that evian bottle in your cooch, and I had to go hesturbate"
hesturbate by Olivia Yearns November 10, 2008

hasturbate 

to masturbate while under the hallucinogenic effect of opioids
Dude 1: that new VR porn is so realistic! It took me to all kinds of places besides the bedroom.
I remember surfing the pacific, wrestling some hobos, going down on Danny Devito and punching a puma!
Dude 2: umm I was using the VR headset last night....
Dude 1: Oh...I may have just done a whole heap of heroin instead
Dude 2: .....
Danny Devito: next time you hasturbate fella leave me out of it!
Dude 2: bet he didn't complain last night! (high fives dude 1)
hasturbate by GozUnlimited July 27, 2016

Hamsturbate

When you use a hamster for dirty deeds. Usually will end with the hamster dying.
Bob: I got a new hamster!
Sam: Then let me hamsturbate with it.
Bob: But you'll kill it!
Sam: It's okay...*snatches hamster*

*a couple minutes later*

Bob: MY GOD!!
Hamsturbate by Paulton January 6, 2008

humpturbate 

The act of humping your bed in a form of quick masturbation.
I humpturbated last night.
humpturbate by Generic Brony January 1, 2014
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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