A hoin is when you are very calm and friendly and flip shit for no apparent reason. They can go from sleeping to killing in .2 seconds. Its bi-polar on steroids.
Ignoring obligations or being generally disagreeable. A person who is said to be "hoin' it" is generally a friend who has let the accusing party down in some way.
Joe: Dude I can't go to the party tonight. I need to help my grandma iron the drapes.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.