helwett packard 

a piece of shit company that bought out Compaq or something shit and then proceeded to suck ass at computers and overpricing printer ink with subscriptions

guy 1: "hey, did you hear about helwett packard?"
guy 2: "yeah, they're pretty shit"

helwett packard by GaySErx November 25, 2024

Hewlett Packard 

a type of company that likes slowing your computer down with bloatware

guy: dang, stupid hp
friend: why's it stupid?
guy: cause they said the computer i just bought is the best for gaming and yet it can't play a simple flash game.
friend: that sure is stupid of Hewlett Packard

Hewlett Packard by GeorgieFrank November 23, 2015

Hewlett Packard 

Hewlett Packard, abbreviated HP, is a corporation dedicated to manufacturing top-of-the-line malfunctioning, Cambodian sweatshop assembled, eAIDS infested plastic and metal scraps or "personal computers" run on Mongolian prostitutes' tit milk. HP laptops are as reliable, trustworthy, and totally clean of any "surprises" as much as a Hoe's Pussy. HP laptops are like used Afghani goat condoms repacked and assured of their technological innovativeness, technologically a hybrid between an ACER, a shopping cart, and liquidated, metal casted soiled drapes.

-Dude you bought an HP? Hewlett Packard "laptop" resting on my bed) Yeah. She'[s tired though, she fucks me so hard 24/7 bitch almost caused a fire.

-How much?
$1500

Hewlett Packard by NukifyouBuk December 4, 2010

Hewlett Packard 

Rated worst computer company for two years by PC World.

PC World said "Apple soars. Acer and eMachines soar. HP(Hewlett Packard) snoars."

Hewlett Packard by PCWreader June 24, 2009

hewlett packard 

A once great technology company that probably makes the majority of its money in the enterprise sector while designing and manufacturing inferior-quality consumer-level products with horrifically poor customer support.

A recent example is the wave of HP- and Compaq-branded laptops with wifi and video failures out-of-warranty; HP's only response is to either fix the machine for two-thirds what the customer paid or suggest a replacement...paid for by the customer, of course.

My Hewlett Packard laptop died not two years after I bought it. I'm buying an ASUS next time.

hewlett packard by TheNextBillGates January 14, 2010

Hewlett Packard 

Syn: Sucks

Hey, man. I _know_ Hewlett Packard SUCKS! I work there.

Hewlett Packard by HP-slave October 21, 2008

Hewlett Packard 

Invent - a company renowned for its technological advances especially in the field of computing.

HP Invent
HP pwnes Dell

Hewlett Packard by Alex Maftei December 17, 2004