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Hewlett Packard 

a type of company that likes slowing your computer down with bloatware
guy: dang, stupid hp
friend: why's it stupid?
guy: cause they said the computer i just bought is the best for gaming and yet it can't play a simple flash game.
friend: that sure is stupid of Hewlett Packard
Hewlett Packard by GeorgieFrank November 23, 2015

Hewlett Packard 

Hewlett Packard, abbreviated HP, is a corporation dedicated to manufacturing top-of-the-line malfunctioning, Cambodian sweatshop assembled, eAIDS infested plastic and metal scraps or "personal computers" run on Mongolian prostitutes' tit milk. HP laptops are as reliable, trustworthy, and totally clean of any "surprises" as much as a Hoe's Pussy. HP laptops are like used Afghani goat condoms repacked and assured of their technological innovativeness, technologically a hybrid between an ACER, a shopping cart, and liquidated, metal casted soiled drapes.
-Dude you bought an HP? Hewlett Packard "laptop" resting on my [bed)
Yeah. She's tired though, she fucks me so hard 24/7 bitch almost caused a fire.

-How much?
$1500
Hewlett Packard by NukifyouBuk December 4, 2010

Hewlett Packard 

Rated worst computer company for two years by PC World.
PC World said "Apple soars. Acer and eMachines soar. HP(Hewlett Packard) snoars."
Hewlett Packard by PCWreader June 24, 2009

hewlett packard 

A once great technology company that probably makes the majority of its money in the enterprise sector while designing and manufacturing inferior-quality consumer-level products with horrifically poor customer support.

A recent example is the wave of HP- and Compaq-branded laptops with wifi and video failures out-of-warranty; HP's only response is to either fix the machine for two-thirds what the customer paid or suggest a replacement...paid for by the customer, of course.
My Hewlett Packard laptop died not two years after I bought it. I'm buying an ASUS next time.
hewlett packard by TheNextBillGates January 14, 2010

Hewlett Packard 

Hey, man. I _know_ Hewlett Packard SUCKS! I work there.
Hewlett Packard by HP-slave October 21, 2008

Hewlett Packard 

Invent - a company renowned for its technological advances especially in the field of computing.
HP Invent
HP pwnes Dell
Hewlett Packard by Alex Maftei December 17, 2004
More from Urban Dictionary

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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