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I HAVE A RAGING HARD ON 

...So? Go have sex.
"HOLY SHIT I COULD FUCK A BRICK WALL RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA TYPE 'I HAVE A RAGING HARD ON' IN THE SEARCH BAR RIGHT NOW EL OH EL, WHORES." - You

"I'm a website, what do you want me to do?" - Urbandictionary

R2D2 With A Hard On 

Nick name for the naval Phalanx anti-missile defense gun derived from it's side profile.
Hey mate, check out our M61. It looks like R2D2 with a hard on!

Don't worry 'bout incoming. R2's hard. He'll take her down.
R2D2 With A Hard On by Eddy June 17, 2007

hard on hoes 

The "Hard on Hoes" movement is a movement focused on not putting up with, neither aiding, nor abetting hoes and their actions. "Hoes", in this case refers to poor-quality or substandard otherwise "bad women". This movement shows hoes and their supporters, that their ways are not acceptable, in an attempt to prompt positive change or to deter others from such a lifestyle.
john: are you planning anything serious with tracey?
mike: nah boy, i aint wifin up no slut, hard on hoes for life.
hard on hoes by -lordtariq- December 7, 2011

hard-on in a bottle

Slang nickname for the sports celebrity hyped but entirely ineffective mail-order supplements that purport to give you muscles and a big black boner no matter what your ethnicity.
I don’t give a rat’s ass if it is a full-blown goddamn placebo, I just wanna get my own hard-on in a bottle and try it out for myself!
hard-on in a bottle by Dr Bunnygirl September 1, 2019

Hamilton Hard-on

When a guy gets so excited about something that is non-sexual that he gets wood. Usually involves sports or money.
Dude, I was walking out of the club last night when I found ten dollars on the ground and was so excited that I got a Hamilton Hard-on
Hamilton Hard-on by Jonny B198 August 7, 2010

Ed Hard-on 

One who dons more than one article of clothing sporting the "Ed Hardy" logo. This person may also refer to you as "guy" or prematurely assume that you agree with them by asking "Am I right?" immediately following a crass, poorly-constructed opinion.
I bumped into that douche-chill with fake diamond earrings up at the bar while I was getting a drink. He spilled his tequila-redbull on me and called me "guy". What an Ed Hard-On! Am I right?
Ed Hard-on by micah May 11, 2010