When wimpy pencil-dicked possessive mama's boy types cling to their girlfriend in public, eyes always looking around, holding hands, grabbing ass, any way to let everyone know his woman is "taken." Really a turnoff to women and makes guys like me laugh behind their backs.

Look at that dweeb over there mink guarding that chick. She is going to run from him really soon.

mink guarding by running out of patience May 8, 2009

Barney-guarding job

A job that requires absolutely no skill or talent, except for a complete lack of self-respect. Usually the kind of job one seeks after being fired from distributing flyers for a porno theater.

The term is derived from an episode from The Simpsons where Mr. Smithers, desperate for a job after being fired by Mr. Burns, inquires after a Help Wanted sign at Moe's. The job is pretty simple: distract Barney Gumbel until the midnight beer delivery is safely transacted. According to Homer, it's a job that many of them have only contemplated in the darkest moments of their lives.

Bill: Yo, how'd the job hunt go?

Evan: Terrible. I had to take an internship to a fishmonger.

Bill: Man, that's a Barney-guarding job.

Evan: I know. I think I'm going to bed. Don't bother me.

Barney-guarding job by ChrisJLee March 9, 2007

Goose-guarding

A New Zealand word used commonly in children's games roughly equivalent to camping in video games.

Kid 1: I'm not moving until you leave the safe zone.
Kid 2: No goose-guarding!
Kid 1: Okay, fine! I'll just run around the whole court until you leave then instead.

Goose-guarding by Deepecologist October 26, 2018

puppy guarding

When a person guards a "safe" or "base" spot during a game of tag, forcing the person at the base to get tagged when they come out.

"Hey, thats not fair, no puppy guarding!"

puppy guarding by Daniela K October 29, 2006

Guarding the beer

Making out/ hooking up, primarily in a party setting. Typically in front of the beer/keg/etc. and effectively "guarding" any other party goers from reaching it.

They were guarding the beer for hours. Though I must admit they did a good job, nobody bothered taking any of the beer that was behind them.

Guarding the beer by Gohawks91 January 24, 2011

guarding the bee

The act of performing an utterly meaningless task given to you solely to keep you out of the way. The name comes from an episode of The Simpsons in which Homer, and two others, are tasked with guarding a bee in a jar in the plant's basement while the Nuclear Regulatory Inspector is visiting.

Bernie: Duh, why are we down here?
Homer: Aw, geez. I told you Bernie, guarding the bee!
Bernie: But WHY?!
Homer: Aw, you guys are pathetic. No wonder Smithers made me head bee-guy.

guarding the bee by Astrolounge April 7, 2009

crunchy

Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.

"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"

crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007

Word of the Day on September 24, 2026

Galantir

A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.

Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.

Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026

Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.

Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.

Concrete cowboy by EugeneJohnson42000 March 16, 2024

Word of the Day on September 20, 2026

hobo loko

any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear

hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh

hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026

Word of the Day on September 19, 2026