Drink Up:
I think the warning on
alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid.
Here are a few I would suggest:
"Alcohol will turn you into the same
asshole your
father was."
Extended:
Real Realism For Realists
"Drinking will significantly improve your chances of murdering a loved one."
"If you drink long enough, at some point you will vomit up the lining of your stomach."
"Use this product and you
may wake up in Morocco wearing a
cowboy suit and tongue-kissing a transmission salesman."
"Men: When emptying your pockets after a night of using this product, you
may come across a human finger, a wad of Turkish money and a snapshot of a naked
ex-convict named Dogmeat. The photo will be scribed, 'To Dave, my new old lady.'"
"Women: Drinking this product and enough of it and you will spend the rest of your life raising malnourished children and rusting trailer with a man that sleeps all
day. Except for rapes."