Any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material gain. A woman who cares much more about a man's bank account than she does about the man. Such women usually soon get pregnant in order to attach to her spouse and to ensure alimony and generous child support.
The closest male equivalent is a boytoy, K-Fed or male golddigger.
"That Fathy parasite was never in love with him; she was after his money."
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.