Edgar Allan Poe 

The greatest writer/poet ever known to exist. Also the father of the modern-day mystery story. Sure, he was a depressed, obsessive, mentally ill drug addict and alcoholic, but hey - he wrote some damn good poems!

...And his eyes have all the seeming of a Demon's that is dreaming...

Edgar Allan Poe by Rebekah Rebel July 12, 2005

Edgar Allan Poe 

A sexual act in which one masturbates or has sex within full earshot and/or line of sight of another person who is assumed to be sleeping, but is actually fully awake. The victim of the Edgar Allan Poe is then "buried alive" as they are forced to listen to the entire sexual act while pretending that they are still asleep, and then forced to silently bear the often traumatic memory of the sexual act and can never mention it to the perpetrator(s). The Edgar Allan Poe is usually unintentional, but can be done intentionally as well. Can be used as a verb (Edgar Allan Poeing someone), an adjective (getting Edgar Allen Poed), or a noun (giving them an Edgar Allan Poe).

Named for Edgar Allan Poe due to his fascination with being buried alive that is widely featured in his works, which may have in fact been induced by being Edgar Allan Poe'd by his parents growing up.

Bro #1: Dude! I was sleeping in my bunk in the dorm room last night, and woke up in the middle of the night because my roommate was banging his girlfriend on the top bunk. It was so awkward, I had to lay there and pretend to be asleep until they were finished!

Bro #2: Bro, you got Edgar Allan Poed!

Edgar Allan Poe by Alpin3 October 22, 2017

Edgar Allan Poe 

one of the greatest poetic geniuses in history that married his cousin

Edgar Allan Poe is the writer of "bells" and "the raven"

Edgar Allan Poe by autumnlaydying January 31, 2006

Edgar Allan Poe 

An american writer that is arguable the best poet in the history of the world. He also had the shittiest childhood ever. His mom got married when she was 16, when he was born his dad left him. His mom was an actor and played Juliet in Romeo and Juliet 8 times a week. Edgar watched his mother "fake" kill herself when he was 1, 2, and 3. His mother then died of consumption, and he watched her die. He then was adopted by a nice lady and a dick father. He actually fell in love with the lady, so the dad got jealous. Then that lady died of consumption, and the asshole father kicked edgar on the street. He then went to college and was a raging alcoholic and drug user. His birth-right aunt then found him and adopted him. He fell in love with his 10 and a half year old first cousin. Then his aunt died of consumption. So he married his first cousin, then became famous for his poem "The Raven". Then his young wife also died of consumption. However, he later became famous and was invited to write for a New York fat cat and earn lots of money. On the train there he stopped in Baltimore. Two guys grabbed him and got him drink off of hard lemonade, and they left him in the gutter while he was in a coma. He went to the hospital and died. Now if anyone does not agree that he had the shittiest life, you must be one sorry son of a bitch.

Basically:
His mom died, his adopted mom died, his wife died, his aunt died, his second wife died and then he died. So, that sucks.
Edgar Allan Poe

Edgar Allan Poe by Bozbozbozbozbzozbozzboz April 12, 2010

Edgar Allan Poe 

One of Lance Armstrong's nicknames for performance-enhancing drug erythropoietin (EPO), created as a sort of partial acronym: (E)dgar Allan (Po)e. (10/10/2013 Colbert Report: Reed Albergotti & Vanessa O'Connell)

Edgar Allan Poe helped me pedal to the top of this mountain.

Edgar Allan Poe by thomanderson October 11, 2013

Edgar Allan Poe 

An extremely depressed man that wrote stories about murder and death. Everyone that he ever loved died of Tuberculosis. He finally got so desperate that he married his 13 year old cousin. Probably was a serial killer, but nobody wanted to arrest him because they were too afraid that he would give them tuberculosis. Obsessed with a Raven and carries it around all the time like a little creep.

Annabel Lee: Edgar, I have Tuberculosis.
Edgar Allan Poe: Go Figure.

Edgar Allan Poe by ocb2000 December 13, 2014

Edgar Allan Poe Test 

A simple question into determining if someone is an ignorant fob and who should get the fuck out of America

Me: Do you know who Edgar Allan Poe is?
fob: Uhhh....who?
Me: Oh, never-mind. *under breath (The dumb bitch just failed the Edgar Allan Poe Test)*

Edgar Allan Poe Test by drunkendukh August 16, 2009