dielarity

die·lar·i·ty /dī-la-ritē/ noun. - laughter intermixed with sadness caused by morbid occurances. The unease and convulsions of laughter related to the demise of a close relative or friend.

Now I started having a private moment of dielarity, laughing and crying softly (so it looked like crying) as I remembered sitting with Dad a few years back in the TV room at Club Meds.

from Lizz Winstead's Lizz Free or Die: Essays