deskfecation

Shitting on your boss's desk when you have acquired enough money to retire early from your job. Especially applies if you hate your job.

"My well-balanced portfolio of mid-cap stocks, REITs, and blue-chip cryptos finally pushed me over the finish line. Deskfecation is finally on the menu!"

"I became a Dogecoin millionaire last week and deskfecated, but it crashed and I'm rekt, wat do? Beg for my job back?"

deskfecation by ethfinancesendsitsregards May 8, 2021

desecration by deskfecation

Similar to deskfecation, but a modification that entails shitting in the top drawer of a coworker’s desk with seniority.

Our boss said he’d been going over security footage but can't discern who pulled off the desecration by deskfecation because no cameras were in his office. Basically without a smoking turd it's a cold case now.

desecration by deskfecation by shithouse_poet42 May 24, 2023

Faux Defecation 

When one sits on the john for some amount of time before realizing they cannot release their fecal matter. The cause is sometimes constipation. However this is not always the case; the cause may be unknown. It is not uncommon for one to release gas during this period of time. Time elapsed before the epiphany varies greatly, experts suggest times from 1 minute all the way to a rare case in Japan in which the subject took over 27 hours (exact time is unknown). The mean is 11 minutes. The standard deviation, or σ, is approximately 7 minutes. Time does vary between species and sex.

(Whilst watching a football game)
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation

Faux Defecation by gingyman January 9, 2010

anti-defecation league 

An organization dedicated to protecting non-terrorists who find themselves on government shit-lists.

Now that I have unfairly been added to a gubmint shit-list, the only place I can look for help from is the Anti-Defecation League.

anti-defecation league by LaughingAloud August 18, 2017

Defecation of character 

Defecation of character is what happens when someone shits on your name in a public forum.

You: "Oh, man! Brittany just called me a ho on Facebook because I said I liked her crush."

Your friend: "Wow, that's defecation of character."

Defecation of character by gingermom September 29, 2009

post-defecation euphoria 

The unbridled joy experienced by a domestic house cat following a bowel movement. Often leads to abnormal playfulness and spurts of energy. Humans can experience this phenomenon, but the human response is more internalized.

The cat woke me up last night darting back and forth down the hallway. I'm guessing it was post-defecation euphoria. Can't blame the guy.

post-defecation euphoria by doublepepperoni August 17, 2012

defecation hit the oscillation 

A more polite way of saying the "shit hits the fan"

When I went in to see 'The Thing', and that guy's head sprouted legs, I knew the defecation hit the oscillation.

defecation hit the oscillation by hurricane47 June 12, 2010