Prior to taking a dump, you get horrible pains in your stomach. Those pains sometimes get so bad that you just want to lay on the ground and get into the fetal position.
Pregnant women get contractions and they must hurt a shit load and so do shit contractions.
Duder 1: Dude, hurry up in that bathroom, I have to take a dump!
Duder 2: Hold on, I'm only brushing my teeth.
Duder 1: I'm having shit contractions, please hurry up!
When the Mass Media and/or tabloids combine the names of linked celebrities to saveprecious column space. ie. Bennifer, Brangelina
Guy: Did you hear Demishton just got married?
Girl: What?
Guy: Demishton, you know Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.
Girl: Oh that is the Worst Celebrity Contraction ever.
A unique weapon of grammar combining words in a fashion similar to a contraction, but with three words and two apostrophes instead of two and one, respectively. Usually used by people who are too important to speak with any normal regard for english.
"I wouldn't've used a double contraction."
"I'd've told you about double contractions, but I would have had to kill you."
When you've been harboring a major cable so long that your body starts to forcibly reject it, giving you the feelings of contractions in your anus. Often accompanied by ass sweat, and anal convulsions.
Man I've been holding off on dropping this bad boy off so long, I'm starting to have poop contractions!
Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.
Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.
Modified derivative of granola.
"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppymetrosexual assholes."
"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"
In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.
The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.
DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.
Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.
A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."