Shit Contraction

Prior to taking a dump, you get horrible pains in your stomach. Those pains sometimes get so bad that you just want to lay on the ground and get into the fetal position.

Pregnant women get contractions and they must hurt a shit load and so do shit contractions.

Duder 1: Dude, hurry up in that bathroom, I have to take a dump!
Duder 2: Hold on, I'm only brushing my teeth.
Duder 1: I'm having shit contractions, please hurry up!

Shit Contraction by FoulMe January 4, 2012

contactless fuck

A term describing sex in the time of COVID.

We used to call it phone sex but now we refer to it as a contactless fuck.

contactless fuck by Dr Bunnygirl May 27, 2020

Contactless

Contactless, a shmuck that has slip on shoes . So no laces or straps .

guy 1: Brooooo are those shoes contactless
guy 2: yes

Contactless by hawkk1 July 14, 2019

Contractionitis 

The inability to use contractions, often making the person sound long winded due to the over emphasizing of mundane points.

Brad can not, will not, and does not use contractions due to a severe case of contractionitis.

Contractionitis by itsthatbradguy July 13, 2010

Celebrity Contraction 

When the Mass Media and/or tabloids combine the names of linked celebrities to save precious column space. ie. Bennifer, Brangelina

Guy: Did you hear Demishton just got married?
Girl: What?
Guy: Demishton, you know Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher.
Girl: Oh that is the Worst Celebrity Contraction ever.

Celebrity Contraction by Ben Faulding September 27, 2005

double contraction

A unique weapon of grammar combining words in a fashion similar to a contraction, but with three words and two apostrophes instead of two and one, respectively. Usually used by people who are too important to speak with any normal regard for english.

"I wouldn't've used a double contraction."
"I'd've told you about double contractions, but I would have had to kill you."

double contraction by A. Robert Dowson September 11, 2008

Premature ventricular contractions 

When your heart skips a beat. Usually because of a person you are interested in.

I like that boy so much. He gives me premature ventricular contractions everytime I see him.

Premature ventricular contractions by roaritsme January 4, 2012