computech 

a computer presently updated with the highest technical abilities.

This computer is so computechnical that it should be in the military.

Bill's computer is so computechnical that he should just design the ultimate software.

computech by Feolthanos April 6, 2008

Computech 

a school of hell

oh i go to computech.

Computech by helpsavemeplease October 18, 2019

Computer Whiz 

A computer whiz is a person who is an expert with technology, and can often blow some people's minds with their capabilities.

John is such a computer whiz that he even outsmarted me with this windows thing!

Computer Whiz by Bigdirtyjoe May 24, 2019

School Computer 

Either school issued laptops or the computers found in the library and computer labs.

Characteristics of a school computer:

-Trash hardware

-SHIT processor and graphics card, inability to run any games. Even something as simple as Minecraft or Roblox wouldn't start, forget about running anything decent.

-Inability to run even anything, even opening up Microsoft Word might crash the computer.

-Grainy 480p monitor from the 70's

-Extremely strict and unnecessary parental controls. Nearly every site will be blocked even the ones such as YouTube and Agar.io. The parental controls are the only thing on the computer that even works

-A pain in the ass and a bad time. You're better off buying a $500 computer yourself

Person 1: This school computer is trash, It can't even open Minecraft
Person 2: Yeah, let's just save for a real computer.

School Computer by TheExtremeEvoker December 24, 2018

old computer 

slow

when your friends are slow asf
unable to function

takes forever to catch on

Holly: Demi do you know how many days are in the year?
Demi: No, uhh 267?
Holly: shaking my fucking head. you’re an old computer

old computer by veronica cancklep June 9, 2018

CompTech 

Compensation technology (abbreviated comptech or CompTech) is the technology and innovation that aims to advance traditional human resources tools and methods in the planning, communicating and benchmarking of employee compensation. Without going blind looking at spreadsheets for weeks at a time.

It is an emerging industry that uses real time data to reduce manual effort, human error and salary inequities in organizations. Compensation technology companies consist of both startups and established tech organizations aiming to make salary, benefits, valuation, cap tables, stock options and other complicated elements of total rewards more accessible to human resources teams and the general public. Because who actually knows what equity even means?

Janet in human resources just pulled six consecutive all nighters using spreadsheets to calculate raises for our 1,200 employees. Somebody get that woman a massage and a comptech platform!

Um, this Silicon Valley software engineer candidate claims his salary requirements are $1,387,200 a year. Can we verify that number with some kind of comptech market data?

I've worked at this tech startup for three years now, and I still have no idea what the heck equity means. I thought a vesting cliff was the outfit Midtown finance bros wore over their Oxford shirts. What's a brother gotta do to get a comptech subscription around this joint?

CompTech by rip_spreadsheets February 11, 2022

computer dick 

Similar to whiskey dick. It's when you are on a date with a girl and can't get it up because you spanked it all day while on the internet.

Friend: "How was your date with Suzy?" You: "Ah man, I had computer dick and couldn't get it up." Friend: "Are you fucking cereal? She's hot!"

computer dick by Rockabee September 10, 2014