cock splint

penis splint; usually consisting of four spatulas arranged equidistant and parallel to the penis, thus encompassing it. this is held in place with a binding of clear plaster.

on her wedding night victoria threw aside the covers and said, "look david, this bearded oyster has never been seen or touched by a man." "that's nothing" replied david, opening his dressing gown to expose his cock splint, "look, this is still boxed!."

cock splint by theWestHamfan November 12, 2003

Cock Split

The ratio, based on 100%, of a cock's potential hardness, arousal, and size.

Person being fondled, "Whadda you think - 60/40?"

Fondler, "Dude, I am not yet familiar with your cock split, but, I dunno, maybe 70/30?"

Cock Split by cbizl September 15, 2011

Splinter Cock 

A disease in which your cock gets splinters in it and is all nasty.

Jimmy went out and fucked a tree and got a bad case of splinter cock.

Splinter Cock by Steven Nyhuz August 26, 2004

cocksplinter 

A cocksplinter is someone who is super fucking annoying. So annoying that it is as bad as having a splinter in your cock.

Johnny: My neighbor is such an asshole. He's putting his Christmas lights up and it's not even Halloween yet.

Dave: Yeah, he's a real fucking cocksplinter!

cocksplinter by geederd November 28, 2020

cocksplit 

Its a threesome sex involving two chicks sharing one cock.

Jim: Man, I had an amazing cocksplit last weekend
Mike: Nice! Who were the chicks?
Jim: Stacey and Jane
Mike: Stacey? You better get an STD test bro...

cocksplit by jimissobored July 27, 2014

lanky-smokestack cocksplitter 

a lanky absolute fuck-up. a lanky-smokestack cocksplitter is someone who is tall but skinny and fucks up all the time.

"oh my god, josh is such a lanky-smokestack cocksplitter."

"haha i know right, he is so goofy."

lanky-smokestack cocksplitter by Randers bobanders June 14, 2018