(adj.) One already having the values of a jackass but conjunctively afflicted with being a complete retard. It is worth noting that one who is asstarded usually has asshole attributes such as a bitch or a dick but failed at life by being I.Q. inept.
"Those guys who designed Internet Explorer 6 were completely asstarded."
"You must be asstarded if you think I'm going to fall into your Cutco Knives/Rainbow Vacuum/Primerica/Avon pyramid scheme..."
assaded refers to bait and switch videos in which an action is interrupted by images of Syrian president Bashar al-Assad while the song "Nhan Rjaleak Rame Kzoaar" ("God, Syria and Bashar!") play