assclench

To clench something tightly with one's ass. Assclamp.

by Bastardized Bottomburp August 28, 2003

assalanche

First defined in NASIOC's Off Topic forum by Kaiser as the slow, crampy, painful, and excruciatingly long build-up of poo in one's bowels, which finally reaches a breaking point and results in a massive avalanche of crap being explosively expelled from one's ass. Hence, assalanche.

Zeke sat miserably on the toilet for 30 mins with bad stomach cramps -- a half hour cycle of cramping and loosening and cramping and loosening tearing at his abdomen. But, frustratingly, no poo was shat. He suffered wave after wave of pain...until, finally, that last little snowflake fluttered down on 500 billion tons of brown snow. The assalanche came without warning, and it was fierce. Many people in Toiletville were caught unaware and perished in a 100mph rush of furious poo.

by Zeke Brown June 10, 2007

asscrunchie

1.) See John Kerry
2.) The act of providing yo ho wiff her first ass boning.

1.) Well, Buffy, I see that Asscrunchie Kerry is waffling on his so called platform again. Anymore pate left?
2.) Ima give Shaneequa an asscrunchie Saddy nite. I hopes her crack stank has improved and shit before then, Homes!

by fucwad March 18, 2004

assalanche

When an ass is so large that the definition of that ass is completely lost within the body of the individual bearing the ass. Usually best identified when the ass starts amid the fat of the back and ends at or after the knees.

Damn, I'd have hit that but I'm afraid I'd be consumed in the ensuing assalanche.

by Jezru January 4, 2008

assleech

An extreme tailgater.

The assleech was so close to my rear end that I could only see their car's roof.

by Belledawna January 21, 2011

asswrench

A person who is so stupid that the only thing they can be used for is cleaning an ass.

Shut it, asswrench!

by Kerry Elliott January 2, 2004

Assalanche

Word describing what happened to someone who has a really flat ass. They may have had a nice looking ass at one time, but at some point it evidently broke away and fell off for no apparent reason.

"Wow, can you believe how flat her ass is?"
"Yeah. Looks like she had an assalanche."

by Dr. Kadiddlehopper February 3, 2010