ass machine 

1. a person who doesnt shut up and is being such an ass that he or she him or herself has to be spewing out soo much ass or bullshit that they are a machine.

" god damn john is such an ass machine talking toilet mouth about that hoodrat whore whittnie"

ass machine by bryan... July 14, 2006

Ass Machine Gun 

A bombardment of explosive farts and shit-projectiles that shoot out of the anus at rapid speeds so fast that if you try to use toilet paper, it will shoot right through it leaving holes with brown rings around it.

-usualy sounds like: "KAck Kack Kack Kack kersplash Kack Kack kack Kack kack"

I was sitting on the toilet and started to freak out as my Ass Machine Gun started annihilating my toilet bowl with the most potent Highpowered shit ive ever smelt in my life.

Ass Machine Gun by JoeyToesy July 25, 2008

THIS AIN'T NO BEER BELLY; THIS IS A FUEL TANK FOR A WHOOP-ASS MACHINE THAT'S ABOUT READY TO OPEN UP A CAN ON YOUR ASS! 

what you say to somebody who makes fun of your gut, or says you've got quite the beer belly.

THIS AIN'T NO BEER BELLY; THIS IS A FUEL TANK FOR A WHOOP-ASS MACHINE THAT'S ABOUT READY TO OPEN UP A CAN ON YOUR ASS! by weave September 7, 2003

ass kicking machine 

1. (noun) Term for an imaginary device that delivers punishment to one who has presented a sub-standard idea or has committed a critical error. Literally, such discipline may be presented in the form of a harsh lecture.

2. (noun) A mechanical device outfitted with several army boots on a rotating wheel used for automated physical punishment. The receiver is strapped into a stationary position to recieve repeated mechanical kicks to the buttocks until they have realized the error of their ways. Sometimes used for pleasure in sexual situations.

3. (adjective) Slang term used for an athlete or a sports team known for winning by a large margin in competition.

4. (adjective) Slang term used to describe a person of unusually great strength and physical prowess.

1. The Principal was determined to strap at least one of them into the ass kicking machine as he knew they were responsible for filling his gas tank with sand.

2. The ass kicking machine stalled on the 32nd stroke, so Wanda's loose caboose had less bruises than last week.

3. Walter sat eating a sandwich and wondered why he betted against the ass kicking machine that the German Women's Bowling league was.

4. Dude, I'm out. The bouncer is an ass kicking machine and he knows you fucked his girlfriend last year.

ass kicking machine by Mickey Nation January 11, 2007

Ass Crap Machine 

The Ass Crap Machine is the result of a horrific labratory experiment gone wrong that created the terrifying device, the precise origin and function of which is unknown. However, although the purpose of the machine has yet to be discovered, it is known that once the Ass Crap Machine is activated, it can never be shut off.

You fool! Once the Ass Crap Machine is activated it can never be stopped, forever!

Ass Crap Machine by Cornelious Von Stinktenburg May 13, 2005

Slap-ass gum-ball machine 

When a man has a hole in his underwear. You slap his ass pull up his penis and his balls fall through the hole.

The slap-ass gum-ball machine: John sees Spencers underwear has a hole in them . “John slapped his ass, pulled his Willy wiener, and his balls fell out.” I just did the slapp-ass gum-ball machine you. You’re dog water.

Slap-ass gum-ball machine by Kentucky kfc January 27, 2022

jerk-ass ex machina

A god-like, magical, or other powerful force that is around the absolute least amount required to keep a plot moving, but is not exploited or around enough to be more useful than minimally necessary.

"The eagles in 'The Lord of the Rings' and the sentient ocean in 'Moana' are jerk-ass ex machina: They could have solved the entire problem right away by taking the McGuffin straight to its destination without subjecting anyone to a perilous adventure filled with murderous obstacles."

jerk-ass ex machina by Honeyko April 18, 2019